


Magnetize

by grathialiana



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst and Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 09:24:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1505240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grathialiana/pseuds/grathialiana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>MIDO X TAKA. Set after high school. Midorima and Takao go to separate universities and play for different teams. How will their friendship prevail amidst the competition of their schools? No matter how great the distance is between them they will always find their way to each other. Rated M for later chapters. Please review!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Magnetize

EXOxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoEXO

The aftermath of Senior year.

We finally made it. We were graduating.

After three rambunctious years of high school, I was finally going to ditch my gakuran uniform in favor of cool civilian clothes. Proclaiming me to be an adult. I was going to start college in a Tokyo university, though, alas, it was not really my first choice.

I did not pass the entrance exam of my top university pick. The test was just so damn difficult even when I gave it everything in me to study for that stupid thing. In the end I still failed. So, beggars could not be choosers. And it was good enough that I passed my second pick, Tokyo Metropolitan University in Hachioji, Tokyo. It was a public university but was still considered a good school. I applied for half scholarship since I knew I would get drafted for the basketball team and thankfully they accepted me. Even though it was a public university and the tuition fee was generally inexpensive, there were still miscellaneous fees I had to take care of. I did not come from a destitute family, but I loved the fact that I was saving my parents a big burden of sending me to college, since most of the time I was sure I would spend in basketball anyway.

During the graduation ceremonies, I couldn't keep still in my seat. I bounced my knees from left to right, and so on and so forth.

This was it. This was totally it. I was going to be a cool adult like college guy. In a few weeks. I couldn't wait for April fast enough.

The principal on top of the stage giving the high school certificates paused on the mic and cleared his throat before calling the next student who would come up the stage.

"Midorima Shintarou."

I stopped fidgeting. My knees momentarily ceased their bouncing.

Truth be told, if there was anyone or anything else in the world hotter than my tall green eyed Miracle of a teammate, then it would have to be the sun itself.

Midorima Shintarou was just about the most perfect specimen of a man that ever walked on this planet.

Yep. I had fallen so hard, so deep for that gigantic stoic eccentric guy with the funny grammar. Believe me, it wasn't a laughing matter. I was seriously heart broken.

Why, you ask? Well, because in the name of anything that was holy and righteous and breathing I was a guy. That stupidly hot classmate of mine, Shintarou – or Shin-chan – as I liked to call him, was also a guy.

And what did that mean?

Boo fucking hoo.

I didn't want to accept the truth at first. I thought, at fourteen, when I started to have these weird feelings, these unexplained longings whenever I looked at a guy's pale muscled thigh longer than was normal, I thought it was only admiration for bodily parts which looked better than mine. I had always been skinny growing up. But then I found that these weird attractions did not go away. Rather, when I started high school, they kind of – intensified.

It became harder to tear my eyes away off my male classmates, especially the good looking ones. Though I could tell no one noticed my weird behavior. I hid it well enough.

And it became especially hard for me to deny the truth any longer since Shin-chan joined Shutoku basketball team which I was also a part of. I knew I couldn't squeal like a duck, but it took everything in me to stop myself from doing so. I had had this huge, and I mean freaking huge – mancrush on Midorima Shintarou since I saw him play in one of their Teiko matches.

He was just –

Mere words couldn't even describe how limitless his talent in basketball was.

He was a shooter with almost perfect accuracy. He could defend well and shoot just about wherever he was inside the court (probably from even the bathroom) and the ball would not miss the basket.

When I first met the fucker, he literally looked down his nose upon me. Well, of course I was five nine to his six five, so I could imagine how much of a midget he thought I was.

And he was just massive. Big shoulders, long muscled arms, powerful legs that could jump a mile high, and his green hair... Okay, so maybe his green hair was kinda strange. But it did not destroy the picture of a perfect basketball player who knew how to work every part of his body to his advantage. It was an instaboner for me.

That first day I glimpsed Midorima in his training shorts, pushing his glasses up his nose, running towards where the coach wanted him to run, I swear all the blood my heart was pumping went to one direction: southward. I remember I had to bite my lip real hard until I could taste the coppery tang of blood just so I could focus on what I was doing that day. I was in the middle of a damn training myself.

After that it was just hell for me.

Plain and simple.

I guess it was that time I finally accepted that there was no going back. Sure I was physically attracted to boys, it even started when I was fourteen. But all those times I thought to myself: it shouldn't even matter. I would still go to a university and marry my neighbor Mimi-chan when we both graduated. That deal was almost set in stone as Mimi-chan and I were best friends since we were in diapers. We were practically engaged since birth. And it was even blessed by both our parents.

But no. All thoughts of a happy normal family disappeared from my head that day that green haired giant walked into the basketball club and signed up for the team.

Yeah he had always been my crush since junior high, but I never thought he would actually attend the same school I did! When before he was just a dream I secretly fantasized about now he was right there in front of me, a living breathing embodiment of a kind of wanting that would never ever go away.

So yeah, I accepted that I, Takao Kazunari, was gay. Finally. And being this much attracted to a guy, I didn't think I could pretend that well to like girls. I liked girls just fine. As friends. But sexually?

I didn't think I could ever get it up for one.

Sure, girls loved me. I was a girl magnet because I was such an easy going guy, and I loved making jokes. They sure felt comfortable with me. I dated, yeah. But nothing ever led to sex. It never even entered my mind to use heterosexual sex as an excuse to alleviate the strong urges I felt.

But looking at Midorima –

There were times when it became too painful for me to watch him in our training that I would sometimes make hasty escapes to the boys' room to quietly take care of my hard on. I would sit on the toilet and bite down hard on the fabric of my shirt so I wouldn't make any noise while I pumped the orgasm out of my erection.

No other boy had ever had that kind of effect on me.

We started the regular drills and I found myself being in the same group as Midorima was almost all of the time. We barely talked, or rather, he barely talked to me, even when I would try to draw him into conversations. Midorima would merely grunt at me as he was completely focused in all the drills we were doing.

Even outside training, I found that Midorima was a quiet reserved giant who only talked if he was giving instructions to his teammates within the game. And that sucked big time. I was naturally a talkative and easygoing guy, and had befriended most of my teammates in the basketball club, except him.

He began talking to me when we stayed late for extra practice. There was no one more hardworking in our team than Midorima, considering that anyone could call him the most talented as it was. It never got into his head, how good he was. He just kept on training and training, working and working hard as if he could never be satisfied with his talent if he knew he wasn't bleeding enough on the floor slaving his ass off improving it.

That was just how he thought. He lived by the club's strict rules, and he even had more frigid ones for himself.

But when I began staying with him during the extra practices, training even harder than some of the guys, I felt his respect for me growing. Fine. Of course the main reason I stayed late was because of him, but my secondary goal was also to become better. I didn't want to eat the dust Midorima left on the court, and my other teammates' for that matter.

Gradually Midorima opened up and began sitting with me during practice. He began doing drills with me, until it became almost natural for us to be partners whenever we could do free plays.

I guess it was sort of an anticlimactic ending for my unrequited passions for that idiot. I mean, not that I was planning to confess or anything, but because it was Midorima… Because he was the kind of person whose trust wouldn't easily be won, and the fact that he treated me as a friend, they were enough reasons for me to stamp down my feelings and act like a true – normal, straight friend to him. Heck we even had buddy studying sessions in his room before exams.

I told myself that I couldn't make the mistake of letting Midorima – or Shin-chan – have any inkling of my wanton lust for him. He trusted me. We were friends. And I guess it was better than him hating me for being a fag.

Good thing for me my neighbor Mimi-chan seemed to have moved on too. I knew she started seeing a boy from her class.

And as for me, being Shin-chan's friend was enough.

I teased him for being so big, trying to sound as if that should make him feel awkward, and that he looked geeky with his thick rimmed glasses.

I always thought he should just ditch the glasses and go for contacts. And then one day, he actually did! I remembered he came to school looking odd and he always kept his face down. Then I noticed he wasn't wearing his glasses but colorless contacts.

"Shin-chan!" I remembered exclaiming. "Your eyes are sooo – sooo green."

He snapped at me, you know, that way when he was trying so hard to look mad at me but all he could do was just look more helpless because his face was so exposed. He was too adorable for words. Even when he was spitting mad at me.

I chuckled and yelled to our other male class mates. "Hey, guys! Shin-chan lost his glasses! I think he looks better without them!"

"Shut up, Takao," he snarled, hiding his face. He was really terribly shy and I wanted to make fun of him even more. Some of our boy classmates crowded around Shin-chan, teasing him and looking as surprised as I was how startlingly clear his emerald eyes looked without the hazy lenses of his glasses.

I knew Shin-chan was uncomfortable with the attention; he never really did well with people noticing him aside from playing basketball. I didn't know if it was just the bully in me or the fact that I wanted to see the play of emotions cross Shin-chan's face whenever he was at his most vulnerable.

He was a giant at six five, but no one would look more gentle, or precious to me.

The boys and I were having a good laugh teasing Midorima's somewhat girly face without his glasses on, but then some of our girl classmates also came over and began cooing over him, pawing him as if it was the first time they had ever seen a good looking guy before.

All at once a deep resentment came over me.

There I was starting the commotion but when the girls began eyeing him with interest I was the first one to give in to my petty jealousy. "Hey," I said to them cooly. "Let the guy breathe, would you?"

And by the end of class I made sure to accompany Shin-chan first thing to his ophthalmologist to have his glasses replaced.

Three years.

Three years of barely making it without completely losing my head over Midorima.

And now it was graduation.

Of course he would go to University of Tokyo in Bunkyo. Being a smart ass himself, no one ever doubted he could get into the most prestigious university in the whole of Japan. He never admitted to me, but I heard from the grapevine that he didn't even have to apply for a scholarship. He was immediately drafted by the basketball team with a full scholarship. Plus stipend. The school was going to give him a bloody allowance.

He really was an amazing guy.

I watched, heart in my throat, proudly, as my best friend and teammate walked up the stage for his certificate. He looked very handsome in his uniform.

I forgot the rest of the ceremony. I was staring at the top of Shin-chan's head most of the time. Being so tall, he towered everyone else even in their seats.

Our parents came to support us and share our achievements. But they went home earlier so that we could celebrate on our own.

Shin-chan and the rest of our classmates, our close friends and basketball teammates, went to sing at the nearest karaoke and got stuffed with all the junk food that we could eat. It was really fun. Some of my class mates would go to the universities of their choice, while others would stop schooling for a while and get part time jobs first.

It was really the end of high school.

That early March, one afternoon, Shin-chan and I trudged home slowly. There was a big grin on my face. Yeah, I knew we wouldn't go to the same school and of course I felt sad about it, yet I did try my best to get into the University of Tokyo. It just wasn't meant for me. But I couldn't help but feel excited that I was starting college next month. It was still something surreal for me.

We were both quiet on the walk home. I supposed he was excited in his own way, too.

Then Shin-chan spoke. "Fifty one minutes," he said softly.

I looked up. "Huh?"

"I read in Google map that it takes fifty one minutes to get from Bunkyo to Hachioji."

I stared at him, stupidly. "Hachioji?"

Shin-chan stared back at me. "Your school, stupid. It's in Hachioji, Tokyo, right?"

"Oh. Aaaahh – sorry, I'm still not that familiar with the place and everything. But yeah – really? Fifty one minutes? Okay."

He pushed the glasses up his nose and looked ahead of him as he walked. "Don't be a stranger, Takao."

I scratched my head, nodding. "Umm, yeah. I guess. If I need to copy your notes like I always did I'll surely come right over."

Wow, that was really a lovely thought. To think that Shin-chan would be kind enough to remind me we were still friends no matter the distance between us, it tugged at my heart strings.

Why wasn't I born a freaking girl? At that moment I didn't even care if I was born with the ugliest face, as long as I was a female who could confess her heart out to someone like Shin-chan.

I put my hands inside my pockets, hoping that my will was strong enough to stop me from what I wanted to do. I didn't think Shin-chan would find it amusing to be pulled down for a sloppy kiss in the middle of the streets.

We passed by his house first. He tilted his head towards me to say his goodbye and then he opened the gate of his house.

Before he could go inside completely I asked, "When are you moving to Bunkyo?"

"My father is hiring some movers. Maybe next week nanodayo."

"Ah, okay."

"I'll see you," Midorima said and finally went into their house.

Leaving me alone on the street watching him as he disappeared inside the door. It was the last time we would ever walk home together.

Next month we would be in different schools, play for different teams.

And Heaven forbid that we would actually face each other during the intercollegiate matches.

I shuddered, a bitter taste in my mouth.

But it couldn't be helped. It just couldn't. Our lives were moving forward and there was nothing left to do but to go with the flow.

Xxxxx


	2. Chapter 2

EXOxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoEXO

TMU.

Short for Tokyo Metropolitan University. Here I was, on my first day of school. It was the fifth of April and high school seemed to be a thousand years away.

As I stood at the entrance of the Minami-Osawa campus, I couldn't contain my excitement. I was practically dizzy with it. My five minute walk from the station did not dampen my enthusiasm as I was almost skipping down the street.

I stood there, just looking around, feeling the soft breeze on my face, while students of all shapes, sizes and ages milled around me. The buzzing noise of their chatter overwhelmed me, but in a good way. I was soaking in happiness every minute that I stood there. The campus grounds were filled with greeneries. It was the perfect combination of an urban scenic haven for environment lovers like me!

To say that I loved the grandeur and vastness of the campus was the understatement of the year.

Releasing a heavy breath, I began walking forward.

My first stop was the Information gallery where I could check the schedules of my classes. There were clusters of students, all freshmen like me, I bet, who were looking at the gigantic bulletin boards posted there. I patiently waited until there was enough room for me to squeeze in and checked the board for my basic classes. I consulted my college form. Yep, everything looked good and had the correct schedule on it.

Alrighty! I went to my first class for the day.

Xxx

Since it was the first day of class, we only had two classes that lasted until after lunch time. After quickly eating a bento in the nearby cafeteria, I walked to the student dorms. I still had not completely unpacked. I went in the small room, sitting on my bed. There was another bed on the far edge of the room. It was for my roommate Gorou, another freshman like me. We had met the previous days past, had chatted a little while we unpacked our things. He seemed to be a nice likable guy. But please, don't get me wrong. Just because I was gay didn't mean I would get an erection for the guy I was sharing my room with.

I never felt any attraction towards Gorou. He was a short skinny kid who was desperately in need of a growth spurt. I mean, he was even tinier than Kuroko, that little mousy blue haired Shadow of Seirin high. Gorou was only probably five four in height, a sprinkle of freckles dotting his whole face. I hoped he was not the type of kid who suffered from suicidal tendencies because of getting bullied in his youth.

Hmm, so far he sounded normal. And as excited as I was to be starting college.

So anyway, I began putting my clothes in my drawers, getting them from inside my luggage bags. I spent an hour or so sorting through my stuff until Gorou came in and greeted me politely. He also began arranging his things. Being the talkative guy that I was, I engaged him in a small friendly talk, which he returned happily. He was naturally a quiet guy but his disposition was cheerful so everytime he opened his mouth he was smiling. In a sense, I was thankful he was my roommate. Honestly I think I would have a harder time hiding my weird habits if I ended up being holed up with an attractive guy. If I lost it and jumped my roommate because seriously, I was eighteen years old, gay and a virgin, I didn't think anyone would cut me some slack. I didn't want to stay in my room feeling uncomfortable all the time. So it was a good thing Gorou was harmless.

Yeah, if you ask me, this sexual abstinence I had been imposing on myself since I learned I swung for the other "team" was beginning to take its toll upon me. But hey, what could I do? I couldn't just approach a guy back in my high school to have sexual experiments with him. A lot of people knew me from being the point guard of Shuutoku. It was as if I could flaunt my sexual preference at that time.

Part of it was the fear, of course. I didn't want people to judge me. I didn't want to lose face in my team. I think those were very valid reasons why I was still a virgin, a "cock virgin" until now. And like I said, I had never tried heterosexual sex. It seemed too much trouble for all its worth.

Anyway, back to Gorou. The kid seemed kind. It was a good thing he was my roommate.

Xxx

After three days I was finally called by the coach to start training for the basketball club. Being used to all the hard work, I didn't seem daunted by the rigorous practice sessions. I was pretty confident of my skills. And I think some of them became even impressed with my Hawk's Eye ability. The coach even singled me out in one of our team meetings and said he expected to utilize my talent to the fullest capacity.

Wow.

Okay. It felt pretty good. To know that the coach recognized talent, no matter how new you were to the team. I also saw some of the guys nod their head at me respectfully. For a freshmen like me, getting my senpai's approval meant more than everything else.

My career was safe. I was still going to be a basketball player until I finished college. I still wasn't sure if I wanted to pursue a career in this sport after school, like maybe play for the FIBA World Cup or the Olympics. But I knew I was happy playing basketball. If it had to end because sometime in my future I had to wake up and get a real adult job in a corporate world, and I had to remove my jersey uniform for good, I think I could handle it. I was a very practical person. I played basketball because it made me happy and because it was possible for me to do so. If time came that I couldn't play anymore, I was sure I'd be fine with it.

So I needed to enjoy it while it lasted.

Xxx

After two weeks of my repeated routine, going to classes in the morning until four pm, then heading straight to the gym for basketball practice, I felt the first signs of exhaustion. That night I crashed on my bed, sweaty basketball jersey and all, groaning low against my pillow. Gorou was seated on his study table. He eyed me for a second, nodded in greeting and went back to studying.

At times like this, I missed having someone who loved basketball as passionately as I did. I wanted to bitch around, complain and whine that my body was one sore spot. But what could I do? Gorou and I had nothing in common. The kid probably had not done any jogging since his last PE class in second year high school.

Yeah, at a time like this, I fucking missed my best bud Midorima.

Actually, in the past two weeks, I knew I had been missing him so much, but then I didn't want to sound like the complete desperate besotted fool who couldn't be apart from him for a few weeks without sobbing my heart out. We did exchange two text messages in the span of those two weeks. One was asking how the other was doing and the other one was to just say "Gambatte kudasai" to each other. And I could proudly tell you that he was the one who texted first.

But now.

I reached for my cellphone from my bag, flipped it open and browsed through all my contacts. When I got to Shin-chan's name, my thumb hovered above the Call button. Should I call him? Well, yeah, nowhere it said in the Rules of the Universe for Normal Straight People that I couldn't call my best guy friend to bitch about my current life. It wasn't like I would cry and ask him to pat my head because I was missing him so much.

But, should I? Would it do me any good?

I glanced at Gorou. I didn't know if I would look casual or pathetic over the phone upon hearing Shin-chan's voice that Gorou would start suspecting I tended to have this ridiculously soft expression on my face whenever I talked to the perennial love of my life.

Naaah. I couldn't make the call there, while Gorou could hear me. I needed privacy.

Dragging my feet to the floor, I locked myself up inside our small shared bathroom. I pushed the toilet cover down and sat on top, finally pushing the call button. I was chanting inside my head, Please go to voicemail. Please go to voicemail. Please go to voicemail.

Then I would just leave a short friendly message and hopefully it would be Midorima who'd call me back. I was on the fifth ring and I was waiting for the voicemail to kick in when suddenly the line was picked up and a gruff "Moshi moshi" cut into my ear.

Was there ever a time in the world that Shin-chan didn't sound angry about something?

"Hey!" I squeaked lamely.

There was a pregnant pause on the other line. I figured Shin-chan must not have looked at his caller ID that was why he snapped at me. He was probably looking at it now.

"Takao," he breathed, more softly this time.

"Hey, bud, how's it going?"

"I'm uhhh – at the library."

I dropped my head on my other hand. Library meant he was spending his time studying. Which meant it was not a good time to disturb him. "Oh, okay. That's cool. I'll um… probably catch you some time later, huh?"

"Why are you calling?" he asked in a monotone.

Geeze, here it was. I really didn't know myself. "Nothing, just wanted to check how you're doing. How's practice in Todai?" I was referring to the abbreviation of Tokyo University or Tokyo daigaku, hence Todai.

I could imagine him doing his mannerism of pushing his glasses up his nose as he answered me, "Everything is well. We don't have practice every day."

"Aahh… Well, yes, I mean you're taking up Medicine, dude. Your major is not a joke so you should still take some time to rest and study."

I pictured him shrugging. "I think so, too."

After that I didn't know what to say next. We just exchanged sounds of breathing for ten seconds or so and I had never felt more awkward in my entire life.

"Takao – "

"Hey, Shin-chan –"

"What?" he asked.

"No no no… You go ahead."

Shit. I was always the easy talker between the two of us. And now I could not even form a straight sentence.

Shin-chan said, "Is something wrong?"

I sat ramrod straight on the toilet, rubbing my sweaty palm on the smooth fabric of my jersey shorts. "No! Uhhh – it's nothing. It's just that I – " I let out a heavy sigh. Maybe I could be honest without giving away my feelings too much. We were good friends, after all. "It's really nothing, dude. It's just that, it's not the same, you know? Here. With the other guys. I mean, everyone's cool, they're a bunch of good people. But it's not really – the same. With you and the guys back in Shuutoku. I – I kinda miss you, man."

There.

I finally said it.

But I managed to say it with the "straightest" voice that I could muster. Like one guy telling another guy. Straight guys. Maybe like brothers.

He did pause. I didn't hear anything from his line for about five seconds' tops. I looked at my screen to check if the line was still on. Yes, it was.

He cleared his throat on the other end. "New environment really takes a while getting used to."

I nodded, half disappointed at his answer and half relieved. What? As if I was expecting him to say he missed me back! But at least he didn't seem all too surprised about my stupid remark. "Yeah, dude, I know. So – uhhh – I gotta go. I just wanted to check on you a little. It's good to hear from you, bud. You take care, Shin-chan, okay?"

"Yes. You,too."

"Aye aye. So. Ja ne."

"See you."

And that was the end of our terribly awkward conversation.

I propped my elbow on my thigh and leaned my forehead on my fist, suddenly feeling pathetic. Did I sound too gay? Did I?

I sure hoped I didn't sound like a needy female heroine in one of those soap dramas my mom loved to watch. Coz that would really be the day for me! Ugh.

Xxx

I tried to remove the thoughts of that stupid phone call to Shin-chan from my head the next day. Every time I started thinking about it I began despising myself. I made a vow that I would never ever ever call Shin-chan again if I was feeling down. My vulnerability clearly showed and in the future I might blurt out some more stupid things that I would regret.

I went to basketball practice as usual, trying to forget the fatigue eating at me. Hey, I was not the only one. I could imagine that the kind of training we had was also difficult for everybody else. The last time TMU won the championship trophy in the collegiate matches was six years ago, so the schools was putting pressure on the club to do well this year. Hence, the back breaking training sessions.

I could admit that the guys in my club were okay. Not as okay as in Shuutoku, but they were cool. I could tell a lot of them really admired my talents, though of course petty jealousies couldn't be helped. I could sense it from a couple of guys or three. Since they were more senior than me, and it looked like I would be getting a longer time on the court than them, it was not hard to imagine that some of the third years and fourth years were wary around me.

But like I said. It was all good. No one acted like a dick head so it didn't matter.

We showered after practice and as a group left the gym, carrying all our heavy gym bags.

Everyone was engaged in small chats and I was piping up with my comment or two, when suddenly one member, Hideki, our power forward, whistled low and pointed. "Whoa, look at that! That guy is in a Todai uniform!"

I twisted my head to look. As did the rest of the group.

My eyes nearly fell off their sockets. Standing there in all his stoic glory, with his hands in his pocket, his back ramrod straight, was the green eyed love of my life, complete with his own gym bag, clad in full regalia of his Todai basketball jacket and sweat pants.

I stopped on my tracks, my breath freezing in my chest. It was him! It was really Shin-chan, standing a few feet away from our gym.

I forgot about my teammates. Smiling like a moron, I ran towards him. "Hey, Shin-chan! Shin-chan!"

Slowly, those green eyes turned towards me. Damn, I missed those eyes. They were the loveliest in color. His face as usual was emotionless. He didn't look ecstatic as I was, but he was calm enough for me to note that this was a moment that he was most comfortable in.

I tried to catch my breath as I stopped in front of him. "Hey, man. What brought you here?"

The "mannerism" again. "Our practice ended early because our coach had to go to an emergency faculty meeting. My homework's done and I had time to kill so…"

"Uhh, okay…" I replied, biting my lower lip to keep myself from smiling even wider. Damn, couldn't I have been more transparent than this?

Shin-chan shrugged. "I'm hungry."

"Yeah, sure. Let's go to the Mnami-Osawa station. There's a mall there. It's only five minutes from here."

"Okay."

A loud clearing of throat disrupted us. I winced. I totally forgot my whole team standing behind us. I looked back and found the lot of them frowning at Midorima. "Hey, guys, this is Midorima. He's my high school buddy. Midorima, the guys. Say hi!"

Midorima simply stared at the group of thirteen boys watching us.

"I didn't know you were chummy with Todai," said Kaito, our big center, only taller than Shin-chan by one inch. He said it cooly, friendly even but I could detect a hint of sarcasm.

"This guy has been my best bud since high school, dude, " I shot back, as friendly as I could, too.

"He's one of the Generation of Miracles, right?" another boy asked.

I grinned at the one who spoke, Nobu, another point guard like me, though he wasn't in the starting lineup. "Wow. You know them?"

Nobu grinned back. "Been a fan since junior high. I always thought to ask you about him but I kept on forgetting."

This time I chuckled whole heartedly. "Well, yeah, given the hellish sessions we go through I wouldn't be surprised if we would forget to breathe sometimes."

A few guys snickered at my joke. But the others still looked cautiously at Midorima, who seemed unaffected by their perusal. He stood, as indifferent as he could be, not showing any sign of reaction towards the TMU basketball team.

I straightened, having enough of the staring contest, and waved a hand to my teammates. "See you tomorrow at practice. We'll be going now. Let's go, man," I told the quiet green haired giant and we fell into steps beside each other.

As we passed by the school grounds I sort of gave him a tour of TMU. I had just been there for a couple of weeks but I felt familiar with the place. Shin-chan merely nodded as I gave out descriptions of the university, directions to the classrooms and cafeteria etc. He quietly listened as I rattled off. I felt happier than I ever was since I came here, happier even than when I went to my first day of training in basketball. Something about Shin-chan's presence, the peace and quiet he exuded whenever he listened to my babbles, everything about him soothed me, comforted me.

And I think in a way, since he was so used to me talking all the time, he was also becoming more comfortable with the sounds my voice created, especially since he was in unfamiliar territory.

I loved him.

I faced the reality of it head on. And sometimes it hurt too much to be walking beside him when I couldn't even show him how I felt.

Uhmm… provided he didn't punch me first.

But yeah, I, Takao Kazunari, the unfortunate gay half of our once almost unbeatable duo in Shuutoku, was head over heels in love with the densest most eccentric guy who ever held a basketball ball.

Maybe one day I would be able to tell him. One day. When I was prepared enough to let him go completely.

Xxx


	3. Magnetize

The Intercollegiate basketball tournament officially started mid-May. Around thirty or so universities in several prefectures in Tokyo were included.

I remember having jitters at the opening ceremonies. It was actually surreal. There had been a short parade that made all the teams walk a few blocks on the road until we got to the stadium in Todai where the opening would be held.

As I walked with my fellow teammates, wearing the dark blue jersey uniform of our team, I couldn't help but feel like I was floating. Wow, I was playing in college basketball! Scouts were all over the place. Japan National team was not as prestigious as other teams from other countries where this game was more popular, like China or USA, but to play for a professional league was every rookie's dream. I was one of them.

As all the teams lined up on the vast floor of the stadium, each group wearing its proud colors, I couldn't stop the giddiness to bubble forth. There were a lot of people wearing different colors it was crazy! It felt like I was in a mini NBA opening ceremony!

When all the teams formed neat lines beside each other, we stood, waiting for the Sports chairman to start his speech and formally open the tournament. Suddenly drums rolled thunderously and the boisterous boys around me began yelling in glee. Some made screeching catcalls towards the stage.

I tiptoed to see what was going on stage. Damn all these brutes who were all taller than me! Was I the shortest guy here? Being five nine just sucked if you were in a world of giants!

I winced when I found what the commotion was about.

Yeah right. Cute and sexy female cheerleaders from various universities, each wearing their school skimpy uniform were doing formations on the stage. Apparently, those girls prepared a number for all of the players, a joint routine from cheerleaders coming from different universities. I laughed to myself, then looked around at the crazy faces of the boys around me who were so enamored with the show. Damn. Even if I was gay and wasn't particularly interested at those pale shapely legs flashing up before my eyes, I couldn't help but feel happy. Everyone seemed so excited!

I found myself watching the girls' fascinating routines and dances with honest interest. Beauty was beauty and those girls sure knew how to get their audience hooked on their curvy bodies gyrating in perfect synchrony with one another's.

One of my teammates punched me lightly on the arm, laughed at me, drool almost coming out. It looked like he was really really enjoying the show. I slapped the back of his head and pretended to be as smitten as him as I turned back to the stage to watch the cheerleaders.

After a while it became a bit old.

I couldn't keep still. I wish the program would already commence so that the first game would start. Today Todai had a game with a different university. For the second game, two other schools would battle it out. Our school's game would start in a couple of days.

Speaking of… Amidst the deafening roar of the cheerleading music and the never ending whistling and cheers from the boys, I found myself getting distracted.

I looked around, my eyes trying to find the person I had been longing to see these past few days.

Where the heck was Todai's team? I began to back away a little from my own cluster and looked past the gigantic young men surrounding me.

There! I found Todai's team! They were a few feet away from me. My eyes automatically scanned for green hair and grumpy face. Because we had been busy lately, Shin-chan and I had never really had the chance to talk over the phone or even text each other. Yeah, it was sad. And I missed him like crazy. The last time he visited me in TMU a few weeks ago seemed like a lifetime away. We only stayed together and ate out in McDonald's for an hour because he had to get back and review for an exam the next day.

He had said it in an offhanded way, as if it was no big deal, but he didn't know how touched I was at that time I almost broke down and confessed to him. He was super busy but he still took a few hours off just to visit his best friend. How could someone in their right mind not love someone like him?

I felt my knees go weak as my eyes finally landed on his blessedly beautiful figure. Never mind those unbelievably gorgeous ladies flaunting their assets on stage. Right now I could only gaze at the perfection that was Shin-chan.

I chuckled softly to myself as I watched my tall awkward best friend. He looked extremely bored as he watched the stage. I was pretty sure his eyes were fixed on the gigantic gold trophy that was displayed there.

I continued watching him, a soft smile on my face. I probably looked like an idiot there who was the only one looking the other way rather than at the stage.

Suddenly green eyes flashed in my direction.

I was startled. Shin-chan just looked straight at me. Did he even know I was watching him!?

Weakly I waved. Stiffly, he nodded, pushing his glasses up his nose. Then he tilted his head towards the stage, silently telling me to watch the show and not him. I rolled my eyes and made a wacky face towards him then turned back towards the girls doing their gymnastic moves.

After a few seconds I glanced back at him. Discreetly.

And the funny thing was, he turned towards me again.

I shrugged in exaggeration this time tilting my head, letting him know he should also watch the cheerleading.

Shin-chan, at this distance, looked like he was pouting a little. We both turned back to the stage to watch the most boring show on earth.

Of course I would look at him again. There was no denying it. This time I found him bowed low, seriously looking downwards. Because of the clusters of body around us, I didn't know what he was doing.

I sighed. He was busy with something, sure.

Then I felt a buzz inside my varsity jacket's pocket. I frowned, taking out my mobile. Upon seeing the name of the one who sent me a message, a big wide dorky smile appeared on my face.

Shin-chan texted,"I get dizzy with all these movements. I hope they stop soon."

With trembling fingers I began typing, "Man, what's wrong with you? Those are seriously some hot chicks flashing their panties at us. You should be thankful, idiot."

I smiled smugly. When I turned to Shin-chan he was bowed low again, most likely reading my message. I felt my phone vibrate again. I was still looking at him.

Shin-chan looked at me, his face expressionless, but I knew he was amused. Don't ask me how I knew, I just did.

I read his message. "If I only wanted panties, I should have bought one from the store, baka."

I grinned, typing back, "Good point."

Soon we were texting back and forth, almost ignoring the cheerleading dances happening on stage. Dear Heavens, I loved my best friend with all my heart. He just knew how to cheer me up without even meaning to.

How soon?

How soon until I hopelessly irrevocably fell that I would not be able to get up?

All this time the only thing I was afraid of would be to see the look of disgust in his eyes when he knew the truth.

"Do your best in your game." I sent my message.

"OK."

"I'll cheer for your team today."

"No need. We'll win anyway."

I snorted as I texted back. "Arrogant ass."

"I'll see you at the Finals, Takao. Make sure you get there."

I stared at my phone, then back up at him, taking in the cool countenance, the bored attitude. The haughty overconfident moron thought the universe would tilt on its axis at the snap of his fingers.

He looked at me.

Our gazes held. I could see the fierce determination in his eyes, even though his face remained aloof.

I texted him. "Oh, yeah. I will definitely see you, there."

He replied. "Buy me bubble tea after the game."

"Why?"

"After we win, buy me bubble tea. Your treat."

I breathed hard. Deep. Whenever Shin-chan acted spoiled like this my resolve to keep my opinions to myself weakened. Right now, all I wanted was to rush where he was and put my arms around him, all consequences be damned.

I texted him back. "Whatever, you pompous ass."

He didn't reply. And finally, thankfully, the cheerleading dance ended.

The program passed by in a blur. Even as we went to the basketball court to watch the games, my mind felt like elsewhere.

Of course Todai won in their game. And even though Shin-chan was just a freshman, it looked like his team was doing its best to pass him the ball every chance they got.

And my amazingly perfect best friend just delivered. He simply did what he was meant to do.

As Shin-chan waited outside the stadium for me, I tried to control my wildly beating heart.

He was looking down at me, half irritated, half bored. "Bubble tea," he demanded.

I scratched the back of my head and rolled my eyes at him. "Yeah yeah, you big baby."

He pushed the glasses up his nose. "I want extra pearls."

I smiled softly, walking beside him. He was really adorable when he was being selfish like this.

I hoped he wouldn't hate me too much if he found out my deepest secret.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	4. Magnetize

I sat heaving on the bench inside our changing room. It was after a game well played. Everyone in the TMU basketball team looked tired and was stinking with sweat.

But everyone was happy. We had just won our fifth game in the past three weeks. Five straight wins. We were on a roll.

Our captain, Kido, slapped the back of my shoulder, giving me a thumbs up sign. I was happy with how I had been performing in all those five games. I averaged fifteen points and twenty assists. Pretty impressive even for my standards. But of course I ain't complaining. All this time all I could think of were ways on how to wipe off that haughty smirk off Shin-chan's face once my team beat his. Hah! I would make sure I would have it recorded for posterity.

"You were a beast out there, Rook!" third year Hideki exclaimed, proudly beaming at me. Some of the other guys liked calling me Rook, or short for Rookie. I thought it was a cool name and I was glad it stuck. When I was in high school, I had a longer moniker, which was "The-Guy-with-Hawk's-Eye." It was also a sweet name but I liked Rook better. Besides, my teammates would always tell me that with how good I was playing these days, it wouldn't be a wonder if I got the Rookie of the Year title.

Once, Nobu, another reserved point guard, pointed out that nope, it would probably be Midorima who would bag that crown.

Without battling an eyelash I answered them, "Naaah. He should get MVP."

After that they all looked at me as if I had sprouted three heads. And it even became awkward as time went on. Maybe my flippant comment about Shin-chan being crowned MVP insulted the other veteran guys from the team, the ones from my own team. It was apparent to them that I idolized Midorima that much and that I may compromise our game should we ever battle with Todai during the semis.

Anyway, I didn't dwell on the fact that some of my senior teammates would make crude jokes about bromance being too strange for athletes. Especially those athletes who were supposed to be competing with each other.

Okay, fine. Sure I was biased.

Of course for me there was no one else who was a better player than Shin-chan. I mean, I actually played with the guy for three years. If my teammates had the chance to do so themselves, they would know that Shin-chan had a solid spot in the candidacy for being MVP. The guy worked like an ox during training. Shin-chan was already an amazing athlete but he still trained the hardest amongst any other player I knew.

In the end, I just decided to ignore the "bromance" jokes that popped up time and again. And with the kind of performance I gave each game eventually they shut up with the teasing.

So anyway, here Hideki was, praising me again for a game well done. I simply nodded to him. He was one of the guys I was close to. "Thanks, man."

Nobu piped up, "This calls for a celebration. It's kinda early. Let's have Okonomiyaki!"

He was answered by a loud chorus of YEAH BOY!

I cringed a little. "Uhhh – you go on ahead. I – I need to do something."

They all frowned at me. Some even looked suspiciously at my confused expression. Nobu snapped at me, "This is the third time you're bailing out on us, Rook. What's up with you?"

I scratched the top of my head, unsure of what to say. They would most likely blow things out of proportion if I told them. "Uh - I just – uh – "

Kaito, our obnoxious center, smirked lasciviously, crossing his arms. "Uh huh, dude. Let me guess – no wait, everyone can confirm this. Todai is playing this afternoon. I pretty much have an idea where you're going."

I shot him an annoyed look, my upper lip curling in disgust.

Some of the other boys groaned, shooting me anxious glances. I was like, why? What the fuck was wrong with watching my friend's game? In fact I was already thirty minutes late and it would take another twenty to get there by train so by the time I got to the game's venue I would have missed two solid quarters.

Captain Kido frowned at me. "Takao, we just won our fifth match. We're going out to celebrate. You've never missed a Todai game since the tournament started. What's one game?"

I wanted to lose my temper and tell them it was none of their business if I wanted to see Shin-chan or not. But it would definitely look weird. Any weirder I got and people would think I was really a giggly fan boy of Midorima. Well, I sort of was, minus the giggling part of course.

But I wanted to watch his game. I missed him when I couldn't see him. And I only got to really spend time with him after his game or after my own game. Which was like, once or twice a week. I couldn't let this chance pass. Tomorrow and the day after both of us would be drowning with more trainings than we both could handle.

I had to see him today.

I shook my head. "Sorry, Cap. We're supposed to do something else after his game."

Kaito snorted loudly, "What? Like date?"

This time I glared furiously at him, raising my fists instinctively as if starting a fight. Kaito simply smirked and gave me a come-give-your-best-shot expression.

Captain Kido growled at Kaito. "Will you stop being an ass, Kaito?"

Suddenly Kaito walked towards me. I thought he would hurl a punch or whatever and I stiffened, raising my arms to my face but he simply glared down at me. "Look, Rookie, we may not agree on a few things and that's fine. I got my opinion and you got yours. But as a teammate, you are being unfair to us. You're displaying more loyalty to that Midorima than you ever did to any of us. You think he's supposed to get MVP? Are you really stupid that you didn't think that little comment of yours could upset us?"

My angry expression softened. "Look, man I didn't mean anything by it."

Kaito's nostrils flared. "But still. You're unusually attached to that guy. What would you think his teammates would think that you almost follow him around like a lap dog? You should be with us more, your own team. He's from Todai. They're our rival. And I'm sure they think the same of us."

"I'm just watching his game. Why would it have any other meaning?" I retorted.

Kaito shook his head. "All I'm saying is – you are unusually attached to him. Most of us here have our best friends playing for other universities but we don't go out of our way to watch each of their games. Can't you – can't you see how – how – "

Oh I was sure the word "queer" was easily at the tip of his tongue.

"Takao, you're playing for TMU now. This is not Shutoku anymore. You're no longer teammates. You live far from him. Your school is far from his. Why are you still this – this devoted?" Kaito asked, though a little more gently this time.

I noticed everyone in the room was waiting for me to answer. I wiped my sweaty face with my towel. Damn all of them. This was supposed to be a joyous day for me. I had been thinking of bragging to Shin-chan how we won for five straight times now.

I shook my head. "Look, you're going out, right? Don't mind me. Whether it's unusual or not, I'm watching and that's that. You can draw whatever conclusion you want. I don't care."

I turned my back to them and tore off my sweaty shirt. There wasn't any sound made behind me as I also removed my jersey shorts, leaving me naked save for my trunks. I wiped my whole body dry with the towel and donned a clean shirt, plus our uniform sweatpants. Lastly I put on my varsity jacket.

When I turned back to the guys they all had unhappy looks on them. Hideki and Nobu looked concerned for me. Kaito was still glaring. "You may think I'm just bullshitting you but I'm not, Takao. I had this similar experience with my high school teammates. The two of them were always together and there had been sick rumors surrounding them. The universities they applied for basketball scholarships did not accept them and now they had to settle for other weaker teams. I heard one of them even quit."

I gave Kaito the finger. "Fuck you. All I want is to watch a decent game and you think people would assume we're gay? What's the logic in that?"

"Think about it! Get your head out of your ass and actually think of it! You and Midorima always go out alone. Like – like – you're going on dates. You're from two rival schools! Do you know what I heard from my cousin who's from Todai? They're spreading pictures of you back hugging that guy when you were out shopping last week. Some students caught you, Takao, on camera phones back hugging Midorima and acting all lovey-dovey!"

I gasped.

All the other boys in the room gasped as well.

My mind started processing my memories. Last week. Yes, Shin-chan and I went grocery shopping for his food items after his game. He was standing looking at a stand of packed spices, trying to pick the most suitable one for the curry I promised I would cook for him when I called him to show him something. He didn't budge, even if I called him twice.

I had been behind him that time. Yeah, I remembered coming on to him quietly and tackling him from behind, wrapping my arms around his middle. Midorima gave me a painful noogie which made me yelp but he did not actually pull away, nor remove my arms from around him.

In fact, I even felt his large palm slide up to ruffle the top of my head. I remembered the soft expression on Shin-chan's face as he looked down at me, while my arms were still wrapped around him. Shin-chan was naturally a timid guy and he detested getting physically close to people, save for when he was playing basketball. But over the years he had become extremely comfortable with my skinship with him.

I remembered that I did not let him go as fast as was proper. I continued hugging him and even pressed my face against his back. As far as I knew I was the only person who walked the face of this planet who could get that close to him and not be pummeled to the ground.

Shin-chan had come to tolerate me. He was used to how physically clingy I could be at times.

I didn't know how to interpret it. To onlookers it should only be friendly hugging. Why would people even come to that conclusion? Lots of guys hugged all the time.

Kaito pressed on, "Do you know that my cousin and her girlfriends are going crazy over it? Want to know what they call you these days?"

Hoarsely I asked, "W-what?"

"The Romeo and Juliet of Basketball. The fan girls in Todai are eating it up, Takao. And they see you together all the time. How long do you think you have until rumors start floating around you, too?"

I looked at the other guys. They were all quiet and couldn't meet me in the eye. I felt a hollow pit in my chest as I tried to reason out, "Listen, guys… Whatever you're thinking… That's just plain stupid. We had always been inseparable in high school and no one ever thought dirty things about us."

No one bothered to answer me.

Kaito gently shook his head. "You're one of us now, Takao. All I'm thinking of is your reputation."

"Well, gee, thanks, man. I appreciate your concern," I snapped bitterly. "I'm not fucking queer so you can just shut up and deal. He's my best friend and if I want to hug him then I will!"

I grabbed my bag and stormed outside, fuming mad.

EXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXOEXO

I bit my nails the whole time. I was just so worried. Had Shin-chan seen those pictures? What would his reaction be if he did?

My mind was occupied by depressing thoughts that even as I sat in the bleachers to watch Shin-chan's match I wasn't aware of the game being played down court.

What would I do if I was outed? Should I quit the basketball team? Should I not meet Shin-chan anymore?

I dropped my face to my palms. Not seeing Shin-chan would be the hardest decision I would have to make in my life. But if that meant sparing Shin-chan the ugly rumors that may come up against me, then I knew I had to do it. I couldn't let Shin-chan suffer through it. It wasn't his fault I was gay. And that I couldn't seem to hide that fact whenever we were together.

I sat there, not really knowing what was going on with the game. When the final buzzer ended the match, proclaiming Todai to be the winner I looked up from my hands scanning the crowd for my best friend. He was panting and sweaty. But he was still clearly the best looking guy out there. My eyes followed his movements, as he and his teammates met the other team at the center of the court and did the customary bow, showing respect for both groups' hard work.

I continued to watch him as he bowed to his fans, as he signed autographs for them and even posed for pictures. Usually by this time I would have been out there congratulating him myself, amidst all his fans, which largely came from Todai of course.

But now I was too afraid to step even within a foot from him. What was I going to do?

I saw Shin-chan scanning the crowd. Hell. He was probably looking for me. I didn't know why but instinctively I ducked my head even lower.

I didn't know how Shin-chan found me, but he did and shouted out my name, as he was still on the court and I was on the upper bleachers. "Takao!"

I cringed and raised my head. I waved a hand.

"We have a post-game meeting. Wait for me!" Shin-chan's clear voice rang out through the court.

I often did not blush. I knew it was beneath me, but today I could feel my cheeks burning. I saw some of his teammates looking at me directly, then whispering to each other. Gosh, were they whispering about me waiting on Shin-chan like a loyal girlfriend would?

How sick was that?

I felt like throwing up.

What I did, I stood, grabbed my bag, and went to search for the Men's room. When I found it I went inside, went into a cubicle and just sat there, willing for my heart to calm down. Why were the Todai boys looking at me like that? This was not the first time they had seen me waiting for Shin-chan after his games. Why did they look shocked about something?

Had they seen the ridiculous pictures?

My knees were bouncing and I couldn't even seem to stop. Why was I hiding here as if I was guilty of doing something wrong? I gave a simple back hug to a close friend of mine and suddenly I was dubbed as Juliet in this brouhaha? Shin-chan and I had always been partners in Shutoku but playing Romeo and Juliet for these twisted people was just too much.

I was still busy contemplating things when I heard the door open and voices rang out. In my state I wasn't able to understand anything anyone was saying outside my cubicle.

But then something caught my attention.

"Have you seen him?"

"Who?"

"The Fag Friend?"

I sat straight on the toilet and leaned forward, putting my ear against the door.

"Fag Friend?"

"Dude, you're getting way too judgmental. Just because they hug…"

"Yeah, and have you seen him play? He's so short but he even fights like crazy with the big guys just to get the ball."

My eyes went wide. Fuck. Seriously. They were talking about me!

"He's gay. I'm betting 110% on it."

I covered my mouth with my hand lest I actually screamed my outrage there inside the cubicle.

"Dude, how can you tell? Unless you're one of them and that's why you know."

Boisterous laughter followed, echoing off the tiled walls. I strained to listen more.

"Shut up, baka. I've been watching that guy. He's been clinging to Midorima too much and I couldn't just understand this weirdness that started to creep me out."

"Dude, they're best friends in high school."

"And have you been listening to me? He's like a beast on the hard court. He could probably injure me if we get into a fist fight."

"And that just proves my point even more!" The voice sounded too overly sure of himself.

"How does that prove it?"

"Yeah, I've seen him play and he can play it rough. But whenever he's with Midorima – guys, you just don't look because you don't care – but I've been studying him. And believe me, he looks at Midorima with such - such – "

"What?"

I held my breath.

"His face kinds of melts whenever he talks to Midorima. And he – what's his name again?"

"Takao, he's their point guard, moron."

"Okay, so this Takao person gets all googly eyed when he looks at our guy. I swear, man. There was this one time when Midorima wasn't looking at him and Takao also probably thought no one else was looking. He just stared at Midorima. Stared for a long time. He – he was looking at Midorima as if he was looking at his next meal. I swear I could see how sexual that look was. And you know what he did last? He licked his lip. Like this. I'll show you. He did it like this."

They all quieted and the guy was probably showing how I had done it.

I was horrified and my whole strength left my body. I didn't know what to do.

The boys began laughing again.

"Eeeeewwww!"

"Gross, man!"

"Yuck, that looked so gay. Don't look at me like that again. Gives me the creeps."

"See? That was how he exactly did it. I kid you not. At first I thought, you know, I was wrong and that they were just too close. But, I mean, c'mon. Where do you draw the line? They're from two rival schools but they go out more than I ever see Midorima go out with anyone else. Midorima never tried to go out with us. And you saw the pictures yourselves. The way he was clinging to Midorima – Did you see how close their faces were to each other? It was like they had a world of their own!"

"So you're saying Mido-kun could probably be gay, too?"

"I dunno, man. I have never felt any weird vibe coming from him."

"Who? Midorima? That guy's as stiff as rock. I wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't discovered yet what he could do with his dick. I mean, he's probably even more asexual than a fungus."

"Naaaah – these are all speculations. I don't believe you, man."

"I'm telling you that Takao is gay. He's closeted. I mean, are you stupid that you would come out when you're playing basketball? That's just way tooooo unthinkable. He better quit first."

"Yuck. A homo in our league."

"C'mon, guys. Coach is prolly looking for us. All this talk of being gay is making me want to throw up."

I didn't know how I had just sat there, listening to them insult me over and over again.

How could I have been that obvious? Did I really look at Shin-chan like that? If that was the case then I never would really be able to hide my feelings any longer. If strangers could judge me at a glance, then I was sure sooner or later Shin-chan would figure it out by himself.

And if he did –

What would I do?

Shit shit shit!

So a lot of people had been noticing this strange closeness that Shin-chan and I had. I supposed it was really weird for two big guys like us to always be together, our bodies almost pressed to close to each other most of the time. Maybe because I was so used to being close to him, I didn't realize how it would look to other people. I had always been liberal with my physical contact with Shin-chan. I could back hug him without any discomfort and during those times when I would casually hug him, he never swatted my arm away.

I dreaded what his reaction would be if he heard these rumors. Would he avoid me from now on? Should I make the first move and stay away from him?

We were both athletes for fuck's sake. A breath of rumor like this was enough to ruin our careers.

Feeling lightheaded I continued sitting there on the toilet. For how long I did not know. I felt my phone vibrate from inside my pocket. I took it out and read the message.

It was Shin-chan. "Where are you?"

Panic suddenly set in. I didn't know how to face him right now. Maybe it would be better if I text him and tell him I suddenly had an upset stomach and that I had to go home. Yeah, that could work. My mind was so jumbled right now I didn't know how I would act before him.

I only got to type the first word of my text message when the phone suddenly rang. Startled I almost dropped it to the floor.

Shin-chan was calling me. Talk about being fucked to the highest level. Taking a deep breath, I answered the call. "Yo."

"I've been waiting for ten minutes now. Where the hell are you?"

Ouch. He was already yelling at me. "Uhhmm, I – uhh – Hey, look, I wanna ask something."

"What?"

I wanted to ask about the pictures. But I didn't have the courage to just ask it over the phone. "No, it's okay. I'm here in the men's room. I just had an upset stomach. I'll be coming back out. I'll ask you personally."

"Alright. I also want to tell you something."

I gasped," What is it?"

"Get over here and I'll tell you myself," he demanded. "I'll hang up now."

This was it. He was probably going to bitch at me for those stupid pictures circulating in his school.

But I had to face him sooner or later. Rumors were just basically rumors. They could spread gossip however far and wide they wanted and as long as there was no actual evidence of my sexuality, they wouldn't be able to completely prove anything.

I decided to go out of my safe haven to meet reality head on.


	5. Magnetize

As usual Midorima was glaring at me. He always hated tardiness. His arms were crossed on his chest and he looked mightily pissed.

All I could do was scratch my head. "Where are your teammates?"

"They were going to sing in a karaoke bar."

"Did they give you a hard time because you're not going with them?" I asked. Wow. Story of my life.

He shrugged. "Do I look as if I care?"

"Moron. They're your teammates, too, you know. Did you tell them you're coming with me?" I asked, sounding paranoid.

For the first time Shin-chan looked at me as if I was speaking in German. "Since when has it become my hobby to broadcast my itinerary to everyone? I told them I was doing something else."

"You know, you should go out with your teammates more."

He snorted. "You know how I feel about crowds. Besides, I told you I was going to tell you something."

I braced myself for the worst. "What is it?"

Midorima adjusted his glasses and picked up his bag. "I'll tell you when we get to my room. I need to shower."

My eyes nearly jumped out of their sockets. I was totally shocked. This was the first time Shin-chan invited me to his room. A room that he shared with a sempai of his.

"What about Otani-sempai?" I asked breathlessly.

"He is on a trip with his class. A project. He won't be back for two days."

I gulped. That meant we would be alone in his room.

"Hurry up, will you? I feel sticky!" he grumbled, walking ahead of me.

I stumbled behind him, casually wiping my sweaty face with my hand. I kept on looking around, paranoid that others watched us with interest. This was the first time that I walked so far from him. The dorms were not too far from the Todai stadium where today's game was held.

If Shin-chan noticed anything I did differently, he didn't mention it. We were quiet until we got into his room. It was a little bigger than mine and Gorou's, and more orderly. Of course. Shin-chan was a neat freak.

"I really need to shower first. Just drink whatever you want." Shin-chan went to his drawers to get clean clothes, put his glasses down and headed to the bathroom. I was left there, still unsure of what to do for the future. This friendship I had with Shin-chan seemed innocent enough for me. I mean, aside from the occasional hugging, we never behaved inappropriately towards each other. So why were people suddenly thinking gay things about us?

Because of the swirling thoughts in my mind I lost track of time. Shin-chan came out of the bathroom in a clean shirt and drawstring pants, toweling his hair dry. Believe me, I tried hard not to look how his muscles clung to his thin white shirt, but my eyes betrayed me. I sat there, the horrible thoughts put aside in an instant and watched him as he moved around the room. I would never get tired of looking at him.

Shin-chan went to the corner of the room to their mini-ref. He looked back at me and asked, "I told you you can drink what you like."

Shaking my head, I tried to tear my eyes off of him, "No, it's okay. I don't want anything."

He shrugged, took a Pocari from the tiny ref and put his glasses back on. He sat on the other bed facing me, opening his Pocari and drinking. But his intense green eyes never left me. He was really looking at me, his sharp gaze making me more nervous than I already was.

My forehead wrinkled as I looked back at him questioningly. "What?"

This was the first time I had seen Shin-chan so… so anxious about something. He seemed restless. I was sure it was about those damn stupid pictures of us hugging. He was probably finding words to tell me we shouldn't see each other much anymore because people were getting the wrong impression.

And believe me, I agreed wholeheartedly with him. It would suck but if Shin-chan requested that we stopped seeing each other I would be fine with it. I would deal.

The suspense was killing me. And with him looking so distressed didn't help either. I decided to come clean first. "Look, Shin-chan… I know you're weirded out. I mean, I am, too. Before anything else, man, I want to tell you, it's nothing, okay? You shouldn't listen to what people are – are – saying… I, for one, don't think –"

He cleared his throat loudly to interrupt me. I paused. "Excuse me?" he asked.

"Huh?" My mouth hung open in mid-sentence.

"What the hell are you saying, idiot?" he said.

I pulled back and scratched my nose. "Uhhhm… I know what you were trying to tell me."

"You do? I'm not sure we're on the same page here. As far as I know only my coach and I know I'm being scouted to play for NCAA."

My eyes widened.

Out of all the words he said only NCAA registered.

As in the National Collegiate Athletic Association in the US?

Because of my utter shock I was not able to react for a few seconds. I sat there gaping at Shin-chan, half relieved that it wasn't about the rumors, but tremendously horrified about the fact that there was a possibility of him going away from Tokyo, no, from Japan to play in another country.

I didn't know how my reaction looked like to Shin-chan. But at that moment, as the initial shock wore off, and realization set in, I thought USA was damn too far from Japan. How would I be able to watch his games? I didn't have TV or cable in my room. How would I subscribe to ESPN?

How the fuck was I going to see him again?

"Takao," he called out, cutting off my musings. "Does this – displease you, nanodayo?"

His green eyes expressed worry. He was actually looking worried for me. I shook my head, licking my dry lips. "N-no… Dang, man, I was – you caught me off guard. I – you – NCAA? Wow, I mean… Wow!"

He was frowning, scrutinizing me. "What were you saying a while ago about knowing what I was supposed to say?"

I vehemently shook my head. "N-nothing. Don't mind it."

Scowling, Shin-chan's glare became even darker. He didn't believe me. "Alright. So what do you say? Should I think about the offer or not?"

"Me? Are you asking me?" I was incredulous that he would ask for my opinion.

Midorima took a gulp of his energy drink. I tried not to think how sexily his adam's apple bobbed as he drank the water. Damn, I was so lame. He casually wiped his mouth on his clothed shoulder. Ugh, so manly.

"Should I go?" he asked, his tone serious.

Honestly I could just tell him all the disadvantages of going to America, like he didn't speak English well, or that he would probably experience racial discrimination there, or that he may not complete his Medicine course if he had to move schools. But at the end of the day, I knew, because I was an athlete myself, that this was the best opportunity for him to level up his game and possibly play for NBA. It was NBA, every basketball player's dream to play in.

Why would I be selfish to discourage him from reaching his dreams? This was the most awesome player in Japan methinks. The whole world had the right to see him play.

Forcing a smile, I tried to look cheerful. "You should think about it. It could be the start of your professional career."

"Hmmm, I never really thought I would be able to play basketball after college." he mused, looking pensive as he rubbed his jaw.

I nodded. "Yeah. You know basketball is not that popular here in Japan. Even if you get to the national team, the most conferences you'll play in are just minor compared to American professional tournaments. And knowing you, NBA is definitely just a stone's throw away. They only have to see you jump and I bet every team in the States would come chasing after you."

Shin-chan glanced at me, cringed and glanced away again. A faint darkening of his cheeks caught me by surprise. He looked uncomfortable all of a sudden. "You have ridiculously high thoughts of me. Will you be realistic?" he grumbled.

In a way, I liked seeing Shin-chan be flustered because of my praises. In normal circumstances I would have teased him more. But right now, as my heart broke over the news of me possibly not seeing him ever again, I just couldn't crack up my usual jokes. "I think there's no other better opportunity than this, man."

"So I should go for it?"

"Any other guy wouldn't have gotten second thoughts about it."

Shin-chan straightened on his seat. "I see."

After that he did not speak for a long time, seemingly weighing his decisions. He stared at the can of Pocari he held, lost in thoughts.

I sighed heavily, too depressed for words. I stood and went to the fridge. I suddenly wanted a drink. When I opened it, lo and behold I saw several cans of beer there. I exclaimed, "Dude! Are you drinking?" Of course the legal age to drink alcohol in Japan is twenty, and Shin-chan would only turn eighteen this coming July seventh.

Shin-chan waved a hand. "Those are sempai's. Don't drink them."

Maybe it was because I felt this deep sense of frustration that I wanted to rebel against common rules. To hell with legal aged drinking. Right now I wanted to stuff myself with something, anything, just to numb this ache seeping into every fiber of my being. I grabbed one can of beer and opened it, drinking a large quantity of it in one swallow.

"Idiot! You're not supposed to drink that!" bellowed Shin-chan as he stood over me, trying to get the can away.

I pushed at his chest. "Relax, will you? Who else is here to rat me out? You?" I challenged him, scowling.

"What's your problem?" Shin-chan snapped.

YOU! I wanted to yell out. You are my fucking problem because I love you so much and you'll leave me. Just like that.

But heaven knew I could only seethe inside. I stepped away from him, drinking the beer again and wincing at the bad taste of it. Eeew. How could people be addicted to this horrible stuff?

"What's with you? Why are you drinking that?"

I pretended that the horrible bitterness in my mouth did not affect me one bit as I continued to guzzle down the alcoholic beverage. I sat on his bed with a loud plop, looking at anywhere but at him. Shock, grief, anger, a sense of betrayal… All of these emotions swirled in my mind and I felt like drowning in them. I needed to find a focal point. I stared at my rubber shoes.

"So that's it, huh? You'll be leaving for the States. When will that be?" I asked, wiping the drizzle of beer at the corner of my mouth.

Shin-can sat by his study table, warily watching me. "I haven't even accepted the offer yet."

"But it'll come to that eventually," I insisted.

"Who knows? No one can tell until it finally happens."

"But do you want to?" I asked, my voice getting an octave higher.

He merely shrugged. For the first time, I was beginning to get pissed at his nonchalant and cold attitude. Why couldn't I get decent answers from this bastard?

"Well, you should decide soon!" I barked.

Shin-chan frowned deeply, crossing his arms. "Why do you sound so upset?"

I almost laughed at his face. Me? Upset? Whoa, really? Upset was not even a word that could describe how I felt.

This dense insensitive asshole!

I raised the can of beer to my mouth, only to find out it was already empty. I threw it on the trash bin and opened the mini fridge to get another one. Shin-chan yelled angrily, "What the hell, Takao? That's the second one!"

I snorted, opening the can. "I know. I learned math in school."

Midorima finally stood and walked towards me, threatening to get the can again. I easily avoided him and sat on the bed, gulping down the beer as hard as I could, not minding the bitterness or the sting on my throat.

All I wanted was to drink myself to oblivion. Then maybe tomorrow I would forget about how things stood between us.

Me, gay. Him, leaving.

Fuck this.

"Fine!" Shin-chan spat, sitting down on his chair again. "Do what you want. I'll buy us dinner. What do you want? There's a small store downstairs where I can buy home cooked meals."

When he mentioned about food, it was only then that I remembered I had not eaten anything since lunch. I was supposed to be starving.

I emptied the second can. I sat there on the bed for so long, unmoving. Even Shin-chan was also quiet. Whether he was waiting for me to answer his question or whether he was still thinking about the NCAA I didn't know.

Silence was our companion in the room.

I was feeling dizzy all of a sudden.

The room seemed to be spinning. I fell sideward on the bed but did not completely fall down. I forced myself to sit straight.

"You idiot!" Shin-chan growled. "Now you look drunk."

I laughed haughtily, trying to focus my eyes on the Shin-chan that was speaking. There seemed to be two of them. "Don't be stupid. I'm not drunk."

"You've never drunk alcohol before. How would you know?"

"And how would you know either?" I answered back.

"Anyone with a pair of eyes can see that you are," Shin-chan argued.

I didn't know why it sounded funny to me but I laughed so hard. "Oh yeah. And you have Four Eyes!"

Shin-chan rolled his eyes. "Idiot lightweight."

It hurt so bad to laugh so I had to stop. My throat felt dry but I wasn't thirsty. I just wanted to lie down. So I did, spreading out on his bed. I knew it was his bed even though he hadn't told me yet. I could smell his scent coming from the pillows.

I burrowed deeper onto the pillows and sniffed. I groaned. I was actually lying on Shin-chan's bed.

I heard a deep long sigh from the other side of the room and Shin-chan stood, telling me, "I'll buy us some food. Just lie down. You'll feel better soon."

I looked up at his face looming over me. He had the most solemn expression. He made an attempt to pat my head but at the last second he withdrew his hand, as if he was not sure if touching me was a good thing or a bad thing.

He straightened and was about to walk away when I whispered. "Please…"

He turned down to me. "Hmm?"

I forced myself to sit up. "Shin-chan…" I managed to say but it came out as a whine. To my own ears it even sounded pathetic.

His voice was gentler when he asked, "What is it?"

"Please – please don't leave…" I whimpered, looking straight at his eyes.

He looked puzzled. "I'm just going downstairs."

"Please. Don't go. Please."

I didn't know what kind of look I had on my face but what it was made his own harden. He looked away, his expression guarded. "You're drunk. Let's talk again once you sober up."

"NO!" I lashed out. "I'm not fucking d-drunk. Please don't go to the States, man. Stay here. Stay with me. Please." Was I babbling?

Dear heavens I was babbling but I couldn't seem to stop.

Shin-chan made a move to back away. I panicked and in my state I was afraid that he'd leave. I dove for him, grabbing him by the front of his shirt.

"Takao – what the fuck – "

"Shit, I don't know how – I don't know how I'll make it without you. Please… Don't leave me. I love you so much!"

At that time, that was the most natural thing to say.

Shin-chan seemed to recoil in horror above me. But I didn't care. I did not stop. I grabbed both sides of his face and pulled him down. "I can't do it. I can't… Without you, I can't…" I chanted over and over again.

I heard a gasp.

At the same time I felt hot flesh against my mouth.

I had pulled his face down and was now kissing him with all the force I could muster.

For a second…

For a second I thought he was moving against my lips, kissing me back…

But at the next instant I felt the world move upside down and my back landed on the bed. I turned to Shin-chan, who had the most horrified expression on his face, wiping at his mouth.

The anger on his eyes was enough to sober me up. It was the first time I had seen him this mad. And his hate was definitely directed at me.

"Shi-Shin-chan…" I croaked, my voice broken.

This time Shin-chan indeed backed away from me, acting as if he couldn't get far enough. I scrambled to get my act together, sitting up. I still felt dizzy but the gravity of what I did and said finally dawned on me.

I kissed my best friend!

He knew I was gay. My secret was out. I couldn't even protect him from myself!

"I'm sorry! Shin-chan, man, I'm sorry! I'm sorry…"

When he spoke it was eerily clear, as he had not been shocked by what happened. Only unforgiving and angry. "This will ruin us. Me."

"I'm so sorry, Shin-chan…"

"No. Let me finish. If you can hear me, understand this. I want to play basketball. It is all that I have ever known. I will not let anything ruin my chance to play basketball, Takao. Not even you."

Those were probably the cruelest coldest words I had heard coming from Shin-chan. And it was ironic, because he was only telling the truth.

I scrambled to get up and headed for the bathroom. I opened the faucet and let the running water rain on my face. I wanted to cry and but the shock hadn't worn off yet. I actually confessed to Shin-chan and kissed him.

I confessed my deepest darkest secret and he just rejected me.

And we would probably never be friends again.

I couldn't remember hating myself more than right at that moment.

When I felt a little better and less dizzy, I took off my jacket to dry off my wet face and hair. It would be difficult but I had to get back to my own room.

When I got back out I almost stumbled in a hurry to get my bag. I didn't look at him. In my shame I couldn't face his horror at what he had learned about me.

I had to leave.

"Takao. Just lie down for a bit. You are still drunk," Shin-chan said ordered from his corner.

That was when I felt the tears. Damn him. Still trying to be nice to me even though he was disgusted by what I was.

I wished he was just the most evil person in the world so that it'd be easier for him to forget him.

I shook my head, grabbed my bag and forcefully opened the door.

"Takao!" Shin-chan called. "Wait!"

I ran even faster.

Fucking shit, how could I have been that stupid?

I would never be able to face him again.

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	6. Chapter 6

xxx

The moment I stepped inside my room, I heaved, feeling sick to my bones. So far I had held off in puking on my entire way on the train. I took a cab to my dorms, even though it was only a ten minute walk from Minami-Osawa station.

I couldn't help it anymore. I ran to the bathroom to vomit my insides out. I didn't even notice that Gorou was there. It was only when I heard his worried voice that I realized he was there in the bedroom. "Takao-kun? What happened? Are you alright?"

I kicked the bathroom door shut with my foot as I knelt by the toilet. After I had calmed down from vomiting I answered in a weak voice. "I'm okay. I just got dizzy."

"I was just on my way out to buy something from the store. Do you need me to buy you anything?" he asked kindly.

"I think I'm out of Pocari. Can you buy me a few cans?"

"Okay. Are you sure you'll be fine if I leave now?"

"Yeah. I just got dizzy on my way home. I'm fine."

"Alright. I'll see you later."

I heard the front door open and close. When I felt a little better I began stripping. I just had a game and needed to shower. Maybe taking a bath would vastly improve my condition.

It turned out that it did. After a few minutes of showering I wandered to the bedroom to find clean clothes. Gorou and I did not have a fridge, and we couldn't drink tap water so we had a generous stock of mineral water. After finishing two glasses, I felt truly better.

How lame was I that I would get a hangover like this from two cans of beer?

Groaning, I lay on my bed, hoping to catch a quick nap. I was still hungry and I may go out later to buy my dinner. But now I needed to sleep.

Actually I needed to forget.

I needed to get this disastrous day out of my mind. I thought the rumors of me being gay would be the worst that could happen to me. But no. At this point I didn't care about them. The more pressing issues were Midorima leaving for America and the fact that I just confessed my feelings to him. Which he flatly rejected. Ripped out my heart from my chest and trampled hard on it. Well, I guess in the first place it was stupid of me to expect otherwise. What? That Shin-chan would say I love you back? What had I been thinking?

But maybe in a sense… Maybe this was all for the better. I wouldn't have to pretend all this time that I was just a platonic friend when in fact I actually masturbated while fantasizing about him. The burden of hiding and hiding my feelings from him had been lifted off my shoulder.

Yes, I might lose his friendship, but for me, the strain of hiding a secret this big had been too draining in the first place. If Shin-chan and I would never hang out with each other anymore, maybe I would be able to focus on other things.

I had to admit that I had my own life. Falling in love with a hetero would never lead to anything fulfilling. This time, I resolutely told myself it was time to let him go. He had made me happy for three years. Perhaps that was enough.

Yeah, I had to move on.

I reached inside my jacket to get my phone. I needed to check the time and maybe set an alarm so I could still wake up later before the curfew and buy my dinner. I forgot to tell Gorou to buy it for me.

When the light on my phone screen turned on I gasped. There were five missed calls there. And three messages.

My heart was hammering inside my chest.

I checked the missed calls. Shin-chan?!

What did he want? Since he was the straight best friend who got confessed to by the other gay best friend, shouldn't he want some space from me? Because heaven knew I needed some right now. I did not want to see, him, talk to him or hear anything about him.

Because it just hurt to dwell on something that I knew was hopeless from the beginning. And I understood! Of all the people in this same type of dilemma I understood that being gay would never be accepted in the world of sports. There had been gay players, yes, but they were being tolerated, or ignored, or worse, people talked shit behind their back. So if Shin-chan would associate with me, even as a friend, if rumors continued to haunt us, in the future we might even hate each other more because of the pressure.

Didn't he know this was the best time for us to just – stop talking to each other?

My trembling fingers fiddled with my phone to erase the call log. I jumped when it vibrated again, with Shin-chan's name on the screen. That asshole! Wasn't it enough that I had been humiliated like this? Couldn't he just allow me to wallow in my misery without adding to the insult?

What could he possibly want from me?

Taking in a long deep breath, I answered the call. "Hello."

"Takao."

I cleared my throat. "What do you want?"

"Are you able to get to your dorm?"

"Shin-chan – what do you – " My voice had raised to a shout before I even realized it. I tried to calm myself down. "Man, c'mon, what else do you want to tell me? You've made your point, okay? I get it and I respect it."

At first he did not answer. All I could hear was his heavy breathing.

"Man, just – please… I'm sorry, Shin-chan. I'm really sorry. If I could take back what I did – "

This time he said tightly. "You were just drunk."

I sat up, perplexed. "What?"

"I said you were just drunk that's why you did that."

I wanted to laugh. I wanted to storm back there in his room and smack the back of his head with my phone. And he sounded so sure of himself as he spoke. "I was drunk, yeah. And I am gay, Shin-chan. I believe I already told you."

"No, you're not!" he retorted viciously.

"What?"

"Listen, Takao. I don't want things to change between us."

Oh.

Wow.

Statement of the year, everybody.

I didn't know if anything else would bother to shock me in the future, even if they told me Kobe Bryant was gay.

"I don't understand," I admitted.

"Why should we change? We have worked with each other really well in the past. We are friends. I do not want to lose you."

"Don't you get it, idiot?" I roared, standing up and feeling pissed. "I am fucking gay!"

"I am not asking you to change that part of yourself for me," he snapped.

"The fuck? Are you stupid, Shin-chan? Are you really this dense? I'm gay! I like you! No, wait. I believe I am in love with you and you want me to keep on pretending that I don't feel any of it and keep on following you to your games as if I'm your biggest sidekick. No, wait, again. I am your only side kick. Well, let me tell you. I am sick of it. I am sick of – of pretending about being someone I'm not! I love you for fuck's sake and if I cannot have you I'd rather not be your friend at all!"

"So that's it? You'd rather not be a friend to me just because you selfishly want something from me that I cannot give?" His voice had turned cold.

"What do you expect from me, huh? Hug you like I'm your brother or something if you win the championship when all I've ever wanted all this time is to get you to bed and screw you?! Do you get that? Will you still want a friend like that, huh?"

I knew I was getting too far but I didn't care. I was mad at myself. And I was mad at him for being someone who could not be mine.

I knew he was dismayed, and if that sharp intake of his breath was any indication, I'd say he was tremendously appalled by my outburst.

"No, Takao. I believe I don't. I think you're right. Maybe this will not work out. I'll see you around. Bye."

Click.

And just like that he hung up on me.

I fell on my bed, suddenly dizzy again from the effort and anger I had exhausted from my body.

That stupid jerk. Asking the impossible from me.

Asking me to stay by his side as a friend when he perfectly knew how I felt about him. It would have been more natural if he avoided me like a normal guy would do.

But no. It wouldn't be Shin-chan if he was predictable.

Shin-chan would always be special. And I was the only person who could understand him in the past. But now, I didn't think I did.

All or nothing. It was all or nothing for us. There could never be any middle ground.

Oooooo0o0o0oooooo0000ooooo00oo0o0


	7. Chapter 7

The next day, I went to practice with a heavy heart, my thoughts jumbled into a crazy mess. Shin-chan and I just had a big falling out. Until now, I still didn't know how to deal with the situation.

I wanted to be with him with every inch of my fiber. But he was suggesting that we continue a platonic relationship. So every time we met, what, I had to swallow down this big lump of hormonal imbalance my body was producing in order to normally interact with him? Okay, I get that he was straight, and that he didn't mind me being gay. We had been friends for a long time for him to mind it, I guess.

But it was totally impossible for me to pretend he was just another guy who played basketball. I got erect every time I saw him, or hear his deep breath, or watch his fascinating hands. There was no way, now that he knew how I felt, that I wouldn't be self-conscious every time we were together.

My teammates were already doing free plays when I got to the gym. I felt their attention center on me, but at this point I just didn't care anymore. Let them think whatever they wanted to. All I wanted was just to play basketball to release all the tensions inside me.

I sat on the bench and took out my rubber shoes from my bag, to replace the sneakers I had on. As I was preparing myself to start practice Nobu sat beside me. "Hey, how's it going? We had a lot of fun yesterday. I wish you could've come."

I gave him a small smile. "Yeah. Next time."

Hideki sat on my other side. "Since you weren't there yesterday, you didn't hear the good news."

"What good news?" I asked.

"Our rubber shoes sponsor will finally grant us the new pairs that they promised us. I mean, we can shop for the shoes that we want and put the bill on their tab."

Wow. That indeed was great news. I really had been waiting for this. "Cool! That's awesome. When are we shopping?"

Nobu looked pensive for a moment. "Well, since our schedule's full this week, I guess the only day we're free to buy new shoes is tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow, after practice," Hideki agreed.

This news was really the best I had heard in quite some time. My smile was genuine as I shared their excitement. "Great! Can't wait!"

Nobu and Hideki looked at each other at the same time then back at me. "You sure you'll come with us tomorrow?" Nobu dubiously asked.

"No hard feelings?" Hideki seconded.

I frowned at them, trying to figure out what they were getting at. Then it dawned on me. Oh yeah. Todai would have a match tomorrow. They expected me to bail out again and just shop for my shoes some other time to watch my best friend's game. I gave a small shake of my head and straightened on my seat, stretching my legs. "I'll go with you."

"Really now?" Nobu asked incredulously.

"Yeah, doofus, why not?" I snapped, slapping his shoulder.

"But won't Shin-chan be mad if you're not there to watch his game?" Hideki teased in a nasally whiny voice. He was just trying to be funny, I knew and I didn't become upset at his joke.

I simply shrugged. "He's a big boy. It's fine if I'm not there to watch him."

Nobu suddenly cackled. "Did you two have a spat or something?"

Snorting, I stood and began my stretching routines. "Assholes," I barked at the two of them. Both of them looked gleeful as they studied me over. I knew they didn't mean anything by their jokes. They were two of my closest friends in the team. And instead of shying away from the issue every time they talked to me about it, they just made light of the situation. Which was better because to them, my friendship with Shin-chan was nothing but a close brotherly bond that they respected.

I valued my friendship with Nobu and Hideki. Even when others talked about my unnatural bromance with Shin-chan, they remained neutral.

Kaito suddenly walked over to us to get his bottled water from his bag. He was really huge at six foot six. And he was the most rigorous when it came to physical training. Woe to anyone who actually incited his ire. I didn't hate the guy, but I was always wary of him. He could also be arrogant at times.

"Hey, Kaito! You won't believe what Takao said! He's coming with us tomorrow to buy new shoes."

I winced. Did this idiotic Nobu really have to announce it like it was some six o' clock breaking news? My self-consciousness rose to new heights.

Kaito looked me over and cocked his head. "Doesn't Todai have a game tomorrow?"

I rolled my eyes heavenward. Couldn't these idiots stop mentioning Todai every five seconds in my presence?

"I'm coming. Stop making a big deal out of it!" I snapped at all of them.

"Sure!" Nobu and Hideki replied in unison, snickering. I swear if I had a ball I would have done a blind pass to wipe those smirks off their faces.

When I looked at Kaito, the giant simply nodded at me. "It's about damn time you associate with us, Rook."

I shrugged cooly. "Stop being dramatic, you dork," I answered.

That made Kaito grin and hurled his towel at me. "Okay, cut the small talk. Cap's calling us. Let's start our practice."

I nodded my head and ran towards the center of the court, followed by the three boys.

The next day, as the team was out shopping, everybody looked excited like ten year olds who were opening their birthday presents. I couldn't help it myself. I was getting new rubber shoes!

I spent a lot of time looking for the colors that I liked. Sometimes I would try on a pair and my teammates would tease me for having such bad tastes. So I would try on other ones.

But even as I was trying on pairs after pairs of new shoes, I would space out time and time again, wondering what was happening in Shin-chan's game. Well, their team was really a formidable one. I was sure they would win again today.

This was the first time I was missing a game of his, or rather the first time I wouldn't see Shin-chan play, since I was with him every freaking single match in high school. And even before that I used to watch all his games when he was still in Teiko. Something about me not watching a game of his was some sort of a finality, like a judgment in court that was passed on us. I guess this was really it. Our friendship was over.

All of us boys were able to get the rubber shoes that we wanted, and we decided to eat in McDonald's before heading home. Since there were thirteen of us, all male and noisy, we occupied a large space at the back, joking and laughing until some of the other older customers glared at us for being so loud.

It was the first time I had really eaten out with my team. And I could say it was a lot of fun. The bromance jokes ceased for a moment. I think they were a bit appreciative that finally I went out with them so they did not want to make me feel upset about not being able to watch Todai's game.

I was busily watching some of my idiotic teammates make fools of themselves as they shared dirty jokes after another when Hideki made a move to get his phone from his pocket. I glanced at him, uncaring. I was listening intently at the stories my teammates were sharing.

"Oh wow," Hideki suddenly said. No one paid him attention. "Hey, guys, listen…" He tried to call us but still, no one paid him any heed.

"Guys, cut it out for a sec. My friend from Keio U texted me. He said their team won in today's game," Hideki announced in a loud voice.

My head snapped up to his direction. Keio University? That was Todai's opponent today. Which meant… Shin-chan's team lost?

I was paralyzed by the news at first. It meant Todai's first loss. So their ranking dropped to 5 wins and 1 loss.

Some of the boys even looked over Hideki's shoulders to check out the text message.

Then, as if in some cheap movie's climatic scene, everyone turned their heads at me. I wanted to kick each and every one of them. Instead, I drank my soda indifferently.

Hideki received another text. He began reading each of Todai's member's score. Usually, if it wasn't Shin-chan who was the highest scorer, he would be on the second spot. But Hideki read all of the stats and according to the numbers, Shin-chan only scored five points.

"Five points?" Nobu exclaimed. "He averages thirty each game! Now he scored five points!?"

Again, all of them turned to me.

This time I scowled. "Watcha lookin' at?"

"Why are you still here? Aren't you supposed to get over there and comfort him?" one guy asked.

I gave him the finger. "I'm not his freaking mother."

"Whoa, so the best friend suddenly is the not so best friend anymore," Hideki teased good-naturedly. "Did you guys fight or something?"

I sat back and played with the straw of my soda. "Why are we making a big deal outta this? They lose, so what? They're not invincible, you know."

"So what could be Shin-chan's problem? Five points?" another player asked.

"Why not? He's only human," I retorted.

Since Nobu was a fan of Shin-chan's he knew my best friend's stats. "Uh, he hasn't scored that low since Junior high. In fact the lowest score he has had in his career is ten points."

I gave him a disgruntled look. "Now you sound like a fanboy."

Nobu shrugged. "Just stating his stats, man. I never thought the day would come that he would not deliver, you know. This is pretty big."

I didn't bother to answer. In the first place I didn't have any clue why Shin-chan played that bad on this game. It was too stupid to think that the reason behind it was the conflict between us. Of all the people I knew, Shin-chan was the calmest in any stressful situation. He exuded a commanding take charge aura all the time. But he was still human. People could have off days.

It was just normal. Why would he be any different?

Jeeze, I hoped I wasn't the cause of this. I wouldn't want to mess up his game by distracting him. Especially now that he had an offer to play for NCAA. I truly wished this would not affect that chance.

I sighed heavily, feeling gloomy all of a sudden. I should go there and ask him what happened. But that was preposterous. We both needed some space between us. Things were just not the same. It wouldn't be easy for me to come over and comfort him like I used to. The lines had already been drawn. Boundaries had been erected.

I just couldn't cross those lines.

Hideki nudged me with his foot. "Sure you don't want to go over there, man?"

I looked at all my teammates.

They were expecting me to say something.

I shook my head, took my shopping bag and gym bag, and stood. "I wanna go back to the dorms. Stop being drama queens, would you?"

Without waiting for their answer, I walked away from McDonald's, hoping my sadness did not show too much on my face.

xxxOoo0oo00o0oo00000ooo000o0xxx


	8. Chapter 8

Whoooshhh!

The orange ball made a whizzing sound as it flew in the air, towards the basket. It bounced on the ring and circled it before falling into the net.

I pulled back, wiping my sweaty forehead. Nobu whacked my butt playfully. "Great shot, Rook!"

I simply grinned, not reacting to the friendly swat to my backside. Truth be told, Nobu and Hideki, two of my closest friends in the team, were so touchy feely with me, always grabbing me bodily or swatting my ass to the point that I was wondering if they were gay.

HA! Seriously though, no matter how many times they squeezed me or wrapped their beefy arms around me during our practice, none of them piqued my sexual interest. Yeah, I could appreciate their good forms and fit bodies, like what I had been doing since I accepted that I swung for the other team. After all, I had known I was gay since I was fourteen.

But my reaction to them was so different as to my reaction to my best-friend, err, ex best-friend, Shin-chan. I only had to look at his emerald eyes and my breath would be hitching in my chest. One touch from him could make me cream my pants. Yeah, cream. How friggin' pathetic was that?

Nobu slung an arm around me. I had no choice but to stagger. Looking annoyed, I tried to remove his arm. "Whaaat? I'm practicing."

"Tsch. You're looking so wound up. C'mon, it's only Waseda. We can kick their asses you know. They're not that strong."

"Hmm," I replied noncomittally. So, yeah, our match with Waseda U would start in thirty minutes. Both teams were in the court, doing some warm-ups before the game.

Thankfully, Nobu stopped bothering me so I could go back to shooting some hoops. My other teammates were also doing the same thing. I looked at the audience, which was thickening by the minute. Wow, so many people came to see us play against Waseda.

It was enough to get my blood pumping. I practiced some quick footsteps ending in a flashy jumpshot. Kaito gave me a wolfish grin. These days, we started getting along well. There was still a strained athmosphere between us, but we were now able to make simple jokes to each other. He was still an arrogant bastard and I did not put up with his shit.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a big group of tall guys inching their way towards the seats in front. My heart suddenly beat wildly.

Todai's uniform. They were here to watch the game.

"Well, lookee here!" Hideki crooned. "Them stuck up Todai players are here."

"We gotta give them a good show huh?" Another teammate of mine said.

My heart was still pounding as I turned away from the view of our rivals from Todai. I began chanting in my head that I shouldn't let Shin-chan's presence affect my game. I would concentrate on this match even if it was the last thing I did in my life.

I threw the ball to the basket.

BONK! It didn't even hit the ring.

"Shit!" I cursed rather passionately, wincing as if someone punched me.

Hideki snickered. "Can't handle the pressure, Rook?"

I glared at him. "Damn you!"

He merely raised an eyebrow and looked directly at the Todai players. "Your bud's looking here, you know? Hey, why does he look scary all the time, Takao?"

Shrugging, I picked another ball, dribbling it. I deliberately turned away from the seats, not wanting Shin-chan to pick up on my agitation. I knew he didn't care, of course. But I still didn't want him to know that his mere presence was enough to rattle me.

"He's really staring – as in staring daggers at us. At me. Aren't you gonna say hi?"

"Stop it, will you?" I hissed, and this time I showed my teammate how pissed I was. "Get your ass out there and shoot!"

Hideki raised both hands, palms up front. "Whoa. Sir, yes, sir!" With a snicker, he walked away. That guy really couldn't take anything seriously.

After a few heartbeats, my body decided to betray me. I turned slowly to catch a peek of Midorima. And sure thing, he did look angry, as he eyed Hideki who was moving away.

I wanted to go over there to where he sat and smoothen the lines on his forehead. Why, oh why do you look so mad all the time?

Then all of a sudden Midorima's eyes returned to me. I saw how he flinched when he saw me looking at him. But then he relaxed immediately and – yeah – stared at me this time.

I was surprised when he adjusted his glasses on his eyes, his features softening. By the time he was looking at my eyes again, I could tell he didn't look annoyed anymore. In fact, he tilted his head to the side in the smallest of moves, silently acknowledging me.

I flushed. Right there on the spot.

I turned away to walk to our bench, desperately wanting to hide behind a towel.

Fortunately, after a few minutes, the referee called both teams to start the game.

000o0o00o0o0

We definitely kicked Waseda's asses. Just like what Nobu predicted. I scored some cool fifteen points, three rebounds and thirty assists.

All those quarters I forced myself to concentrate on the game. I wanted to show Shin-chan that whatever happened between us shouldn't make him lose respect in me in basketball. He may have lost his respect in me as a man, but I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I slacked off because of my emotions. As the saying goes, business is business. Lovelives can just go to hell. Okay, so I made that up. That was the case as far as my lovelife was concerned.

As the referee's whistle signalled the end of the game, declaring us as the victors, Nobu and Hideki practically hurled themselves towards me. I swear the idiots even buried their faces in whatever anatomical parts of my body they could sink into.

I laughed with them, ruffling Nobu's hair. I think this was the highest number of assists I contributed to the team. I suddenly remembered that sneaky Phantom from Seirin Kuroko, who probably could make an assist with his pinky finger. I was so damn proud of myself.

In the midst of the guys hugging me, I glanced at Midorima.

What I saw made me freeze.

I had half expected him to look happy or proud that we won. But he just looked – sad. Sad and crushed, as if he has this favorite toy that I stole from him and buried on the ground while he was watching.

He had his arms crossed on his chest and his head hung low, his eyes almost hooded by his bangs. There was a frown on his forehead, and his mouth was curved downward. He was looking elsewhere.

And when he finally did look at me, I swear I could feel how lonely his eyes were.

I almost stepped away from my teammates to reach out to him. I wanted to ask, Hey, what's wrong?

But I damn couldn't.

One by one the Todai players stood to leave the court, since the match was over. I watched as Shin-chan slowly turned away from me to go with his teammates.

That was when I realized that we really didn't belong to one team anymore. He couldn't celebrate my victory because we were rivals. He had a different team now. Something I did not belong to.

The guys pulled me towards our bench. Sighing, I let myself be pulled, not knowing what else to do.

000o0oo0o0o0o0o0

As I was putting on my shoes in the boys' bathroom, having dressed in my uniform jacket and pants three guys from Todai came in.

Nobu, Hideki and Kaito were still there with me, just finishing with their shoes as well. The rest of the guys were already outside.

When the three tall big Todai guys came in they stopped by the door, as if shocked to find us there. I watched them share a look between them. Then they looked at me, barely concealing their hostility.

Uh – oh. I had a feeling this wasn't going to be good. So I dropped my gaze to my shoes and kept quiet, hoping they'd do their business and just leave.

"Hey, guard my back, will you? Don't want no faggot looking over my shoulder to ogle my dick while I pee," one guy almost spat while his two friends snickered.

My hair on my arm stood on end but I did not look up. It was the longest time I had to tie my freaking shoes in my entire life.

"Fucking fags!" Another one piped up.

Kaito suddenly threw down his duffel bag on the floor. "Who you callin' a fag, asshole?"

Oh dear. Heart in my throat, I looked up, only to find them – three on three squaring off. One guy from Todai glared at me. "Tell that fag to stay away from our ace. He's messing up Midorima's game by infecting him with his – his faggotness!"

Kaito jabbed his meaty finger on the guy's chest. "Shut up, jerk!"

"You shut up!"

Now they were yelling and hurling threats to each other. I had to get the hell away from there. Grabbing my bag, I turned and ran out of the boys' room.

If Todai was still here, it meant Shin-chan may still be around. I suddenly felt this inexplicable need to talk to him. I wanted to know what the guy was talking about. How could I have infected him with my – being gay? In the first place how did they know about me inflicting pressure of any kind to Shin-chan?

I ran towards the parking lot. I decided their team must be waiting for their bus ride in the parking lot. And sure enough, I found the group lounging beside their mini-bus, chatting with each other, while the others were smoking.

Loudly I called out, "Shin-chaan! Shin-chaaan!"

The Todai guys turned to me. I gulped, suddenly nervous. We were the only ones in that section of the parking lot.

And the team's hate towards me was almost palpable. I stepped back scanning the group. Midorima wasn't among them.

I was going to run off and probably save myself from a beating when a large hand grabbed by the hood of my jacket and pulled me back viciously.

"What's your problem?" I yelled, trying to struggle.

"Stay away from Midorima," someone was growling.

"Disgusting homo!"

I had enough. Spitting towards their general direction, I bared my teeth. "You don't own me or Shin-chan that you can stop me from talking to him. Where is he, you assholes?"

So much for my bravado. I knew it wasn't enough to withstand the asskicking they would love to give me but at least I had my pride. Even if my nose got broken, I could sleep at night knowing I didn't back down from a fight.

"Eat this, faggot!" One guy was aiming his large fist towards me. Instinctively I closed my eyes and covered my face with my arms. I knew it was going to hurt, yeah, but then I also knew I would stand up and hurl a punch of my own.

What I didn't count on was the fact that the punch did not land on me. Instead I heard a grunt and a collective gasp from the boys of Todai.

I opened my eyes, seeing a flash of green above me.

My eyes widened and I screamed. "Shin-chan!" Midorima staggered back against me, losing his balance. His glasses fell onto the pavement and he accidentally stepped on one of its lenses. The crunch of glasses was sickening.

I immediately wrapped my arms around him, seeing a steady trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. The guy from Todai actually hurt my precious Shin-chan.

That was the moment when chaos broke around us. I heard more guys come out to the parking lot. And they were my teammates!

There were more shouting and cursing between Todai and TMU teams but I hardly cared.

I picked up Shin-chan's glasses from under his shoe, held them to him while I held his heavy weight. He looked disoriented and he was breathing in gasps. "Shin-chan? Shin-chan, are you alright?" I whispered harshly.

He groaned and opened his eyes, looking at me. "Were you hurt?"

I felt so relieved that he looked okay that I wanted to press my forehead to his. But the view would probably agitate his teammates even more. "Not me, no. Your lip is bleeding."

He winced as he put on his glasses, one lens broken. "It'll heal."

"Your fucking faggot teammate should stay away from Midorima-kun!"

"What the hell do you care? Takao is not a homosexual. They're just pals."

I could hear the debates going around me, as my teammates defended me. But it did not matter as of the moment. It was as if Shin-chan and I had a world of our own. Truth be told, I did feel like I was Juliet at that very moment.

"My dorm's nearer. Let me treat your wound there," I offered to Shin-chan, hoping against hope that I would not be turned down.

He froze for a moment, closing his eyes as if debating with himself whether it was a good idea or not. I would feel heartbroken if Midorima would reject me now, but I would still understand and let him go if that was what he wanted.

He sighed softly. "You don't have a fridge."

"So?"

"You don't have ice."

"Huh?" I was honestly confused.

He opened his eyes and his lip slightly curved upward. "For my lip, moron."

Right there and then I wanted to just – you know – cry and kiss his mouthy lips until we were both running out of breath. He was still too nice to me.

I shook my head. "I'll text Gorou and ask him for a favour. There's a konbini right below our dorms. I'll ask him to get some ice."

"Okay," he let out shakily.

"Where's your bag?"

"In the bus. I was inside when I saw what they were doing to you," Shin-chan explained.

"Thanks for standing up for me, Shin-chan," I whispered, and this time I didn't care even if the whole world was watching. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, hugging him more tightly against my chest.

I didn't care even if I heard more cursing from the Todai guys, or groaning on the part of my teammates. Honestly I didn't care even if the earth opened up and swallowed all of them.

I heard Midorima's soft sigh again and his fingers threaded their way towards my hair, ruffling it gently. "Let's go," he said.

"Yeah."

And just like that, we walked away from it all.

...................................................


	9. Chapter 9

Magnetize

The most logical thing to do, since I was feeling wiped at the moment, and since Shin-chan had just taken a direct uppercut on the mouth, was to take the cab to my dorms. The taxi fare was ginormous but we decided to split the cost.

I had already sent a message to my roommate Gorou and he replied saying he got me some ice. When Shin-chan and I got to the stairs leading to my room I attempted to support his weight but he gently moved away. "I can walk. Thanks," he murmurred.

"Okay."

There were three flights we had to cover and we didn't talk throughout the time. I was so nervous from the thought of being alone with him again. Just like what happened the last time. And you know what a disaster that one had been.

I stepped in front of my door, knocking lightly. I glanced at Midorima beside me, who was cupping his jaw, pain etched on his face. I wanted to break that Todai guy's face so bad my hand was itching.

Gorou opened the door, eyeing me speculatively, the Shin-chan, his mouth forming an O when he caught sight of my friend's broken lip. "Is everything okay?" Gorou asked as he opened the door wider.

I nodded briskly, coming inside and throwing my bag on my lumpy bed. Midorima politely bowed to Gorou and apologized for intruding. I called out, "Come in!"

Gorou stepped aside to let my big best friend in, while I rummaged through my drawers for my small first-aid kit. Then I remembered the ice. Cursing myself for being a rattled idiot, I got up to go to the sink, where the ice cubes were sitting. Alright, the ice was here. I just needed to wrap them in something. I hurried back to my drawer, looking for an ice bag. I was sure I had one with me.

Midorima was just standing awkwardly on one side, still clutching his bag. And Gorou couldn't help but ask me again, "Is everything okay, man?"

I knew I looked flustered. Just the thought of Shin-chan in pain because of me was enough to leave me badly shaken. Gorou was a shy guy, too so he couldn't make any small talk with Midorima while I prepared the ice. It was the longest most awkward minutes of my life as the three of us stood there like idiots.

Finally, in an attempt to escape the uncomfortable situation, I saw Gorou pick up his bag and his big file case, telling me, "Uhhh – I figured you guys would – uh – need to talk or something. So, I'll just... leave for now, okay?"

"What time will you get back?" I asked as I finally found an old ice bag.

"I don't know. We're finishing a paper, my lab partner and I. I might come in late. Errr... If we don't finish before the curfew I'd probably sleep in his place." Of course our dorms had curfews and the gates would be closed so no one could get in or out after 12 midnight.

I simply nodded, meeting Gorou in the eye, relief washing over me. I didn't know how much time Shin-chan and I needed to sort out things between us but I was so glad for the privacy. With a final bow to Midorima, my roommate exited the room, closing the door behind him.

Click.

Now it was just me and Shin-chan inside the room. I went back to the sink and scooped some ice cubes from the plastic bag into the ice bag. Without turning from what I was doing I said, "Sit on my bed. Just give me a few more seconds."

I heard rustling, his bag thudding lightly on the floor, and then the bed creaking noisily. Gathering my resolve, I capped the icebag and walked over to him. I reached inside my drawer for my first aid kit. "Let's put some disinfectant first before the ice."

Midorima removed his glasses and nodded, surprisingly meek. I dabbed some disinfectant to a cottonball and getly, oh so gently put it on his lip, where the boold had already dried. Midorima winced slightly but other than that he did not make any other noise.

When the would was cleaned I made sure to dry it with more cotton. Then I handed him the icebag. "Here," I said softly, aching my to run my hand on his long bangs.

"Thanks," he murmurred and put the ice bag on the corner of his mouth.

I knew I was sitting too close to him. He was probably feeling uncomfortable by the tight space and wasn't just saying it. So I moved away but I remained sitting by his side.

Midorima was still very quiet, the icebag pressed firmly on his mouth. We sat there, shoulder to shoulder, our backs both rigid, but no one spoke. The silence was killing me but I knew if I spoke and overstepped the boundaries again it might even get worse. So I waited for him to speak first.

Yet after a few minutes of just sitting there, I figured Shin-chan would never even say anything. He was just staring in space, obviously deep in thoughts. Was he regretting taking the punch for me? Regretting that we had been friends because now, his whole team probably hated him, too.

There were so many negative things running through my mind that if I didn't do anything – or talk – soon, I was afraid I would go crazy. So I cleared my throat and turned towards him. "How is it? Is it painful?"

He still did not look at me. He mumbled, "No. It feels numb, now."

"'Kay. That's – uh – good..."

Silence again.

"Shin-chan I – " I cleared my throat again. I didn't know how to start. "I'm so sorry for all of this. I didn't mean for it to go this far. I swear I didn't give your teammates any ideas or whatever. I'm really sorry you got hurt. That punch was meant for me, y'know."

Finally, Midorima looked at me. "It would have broken your pudgy nose."

Taken aback, I pretended to be offended. "I'll have you know, dolt, that my nose isn't pudgy at all."

He merely snorted and looked away again.

"Shin-chan?"

"Hmmm?" He looked at me again.

"About the – uhhmm – the last time. What happened between us. Maybe we could forget it. Forget – uhm – everything that I did." My palms were sweating profusely as I stuttered. This was the hardest part of being with Midorima. Having to revisit the kiss a few days ago. I knew he was still horrified by it.

"You did say you don't want anything to change between us, right? You said we could still be friends, " I pressed on. "Well, then I want that. Nothing more than that. I know I said too many awful selfish things but that was just the alcohol speaking, man."

Before I was able to continue with my speech he cut me off. "You said you're in love with me."

I bit my lip. Hard. Me and my big mouth. I knew my face was red, I could fel the steam coming out of my ears. "Uhhh – well... Maybe we can forget about that as well?"

He let out a heavy long sigh and removed the icebag from his mouth. As I studied his expression I figured he looked troubled by something. Maybe it was the part where I said I was in love with him, making me a fag for him, but I had kinda expected him to be more angry about it. Right now, though, he looked as if he was helplessly confused by it, as if he was trying his best to understand the concept but couldn't, and that speaking in Farsi might have been more logical.

"The thing is, Takao – " He was saying.

I frowned up at him. "Yeah?"

When he turned towards me fully, his green eyes blazing, my breath caught in my chest. "The thing is, I know."

It was my turn to get confused. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I know," Shin-chan repeated.

"You know what?" I still wasn't getting it.

He stood, leaving the icebag on my bed. He cradled his head on his hand before turning back to me. "I have known. Since high school."

His statement hit me like a hammer to the head.

I stood, too, eyes wide. "What do you mean you have known?"

"Takao, you wear your heart out on your sleeve."

If my jaw went any slacker, I'd have lockjaw. I gaped at him, not knowing what to say.

Midorima sat down again, looking anywhere but me. "You forget we have been teammates for a long time. I can read you, whether you want to be read or not."

"So... So you've known that I was... That I was looking at you differently. You have known? Why didn't you tell me?"

He flinched at my harsh tone, then glared back. "What was there to say? That I knew you were... uh – uh – "

"That I'm gay, Shin-chan!" I spat. "Dammit! Then you probably know how I've been lusting for you all those years, huh?"

He broke his gaze and turned away, his cheeks flushed. "You shouldn't tell me that," he grumbled.

"Damn you!" I roared. "If you knew – you dipshit – if you knew back then that I was already gay, then why didn't you make it easier for us? You could have avoided me. Sure, it would sting but at least I didn't – I didn't have to walk around you all the time. Ughhh!"

I was so mad. I was so pissed off at him I actually wanted to kick him out of my room!

"Then why didn't you avoid me, huh?" Shin-chan countered.

"Why would I do that? For me there was no reason. You're important to me!"

He stood again and looked down on me, our faces inches apart. "Then can't you get it through your thick head that you have always been important to me, too, and that there was no reason for me to avoid you?"

I cried out, "But I'm gay! And – and you're straight! If you knew how things stood between us, you could have just left me alone and I – I wouldn't have taken it against you."

All of a sudden Midorima grabbed my arm and shook me. "Listen, dammit, I told you. You're important to me. Deal with it."

After that he let go of my arm, and it was so violent he almost flung me to the side. He looked so angry. In my confusion I failed to see why he seemed so mad.

He walked to the door, leaning against it, his posture stiff. I couldn't do anything more but sit on the bed, head bowed low.

"I can't let you go."

I looked up so fast my head spun. What did Midorima say?

"No matter how many times I told myself it would be bad for my career, that you might cause me to waver from my goals – I just couldn't let you go."

My heart was doing triple sommersaults in my chest, going thump thum thump I could feel it in my throat.

"I didn't know what to do with it, how to keep things the same way between us. I don't want to lose you. But I also cannot lose basketball. I know I cannot have you both, so I was waiting for the right time when I could be strong enough to let go one of you. I didn't like it when you kissed me because it was like forcing the issue. I hate you for being so impetous. For being childish. For not thinking about the future."

"I'm – I'm sorry," I stammered.

"I just want to play basketball," Midorima said, his voice sounding broken, sounding so – so defeated.

"Then – I can stop seeing you. I mean, uh... I don't know what you want," I cried out desperately.

He sighed. "I just – want to be with you."

"WHAT?" I asked sharply.

He was still leaning against the door. "From the moment you walked out of my room, I had been thinking about it. I had been thinking what I wanted, and I couldn't concentrate on my game. My coach asked what was wrong with me, and I said that you and me had a fight and I just couldn't concentrate."

"You whaaaaat?" I walked over to him and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around. "You told your friggin' coach that we had a fight that's why you didn't play well? Did your teammates hear you say that?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, they were there."

"Well, no wonder they said I was infecting you with my faggotness!"

"I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be sorry for me, stupid! Be sorry for yourself!" I almost screamed at him. "So you really lost the game because of me? Because you were thinking of me?"

He merely shrugged.

"Tell me what to do," I said. "Just tell me. I know how much you love basketball. I know you want to play in the NBA. And being associated with me may mean discrimination against you. You cannot be friends with a gay guy, Shin-chan. Sure, you can be friends with one. But not like this. Not this close."

"I told you I cannot let you go," he mumbled.

"I don't understand."

He looked away, crossing his arms on his chest. "I had always attempted in the past to stay away from you. There were instances when I didn't return your calls or your texts."

"Yeah... I can remember..."

"But I can't – when I feel alone it's you I want to be with. I have never..." Midorima swallowed nervously. "I have never been attracted to a guy. Any guy. I don't feel anything towards the same sex. But if – "

I gasped, my breath lodged in my throat.

Midorima looked directly at me,his gaze burning. His emotions were so naked at that time I could see a glimpse of his troubled soul.

"If it's you – I'm okay with it," Midorima rushed out breathlessly.

Dear heavens.

Was that a coming out confession or what?

I was so shocked. So shocked into speechlessness.

We stood there facing each other, just staring.

I whispered, "Shin-chan, are you gay?"

He winced as if in pain, and closed his eyes. "I don't know."

"But are you straight?" I asked again, more loudly this time.

It took a very long time before he could answer. "I once thought of s-s-sex. With – uhh – you."

"And?" I prompted, shaking. His eyes were still closed like the coward that he was.

"I – uhhh – I finished."

"What?"

"Ugh. This is so freaking annoying!" he groused, face palming.

"You said you – finished?"

"I said I came!" he snarled, his face still hidden.

Wow.

I walked backwards to my bed and sat slowly, contemplating his shocking confession. I honestly didn't know what to say.

I looked at him as he removed his hand on his face. Our gazes locked. We were both vulnerable at this moment, both our weaknesses laid bare when we didn't know how to deal with this kind of frailty.

I couldn't blame Shin-chan from running away from it, from choosing to keep it locked in because of his position. Heck, he might be drafted for NBA sometime in the future. The world may be a bit more open minded now, but they still would not wholeheartedly accept a homosexual, or even a bisexual player.

Well, he said he was only attracted to me. So maybe he was just Takaosexual?

I shook my head from my stupid thoughts.

I needed to support him. I needed to be a pillar of strength because he badly needed it. I could easily ditch basketball if it became too much for me. But his case was different. He needed to go back to being a perfectly straight guy. And even if it killed me, I would not get in his way.

I tried a smile. "It'll be fine. You'll see. After this episode, it would be better if we lie low. Let your team stew for a while. Eventually they'll get over it if they don't see us all over each other. Yeah, we really should stop seeing each other like this."

"So – this is it, huh." He sounded bitter.

"You have a career you need to think of."

"That's why I hated it when you kissed me. I knew it would come to this!"

"All that tiptoeing around each other was enough to give me a heart attack, Shin-chan. My blood pressure has been over the top since I met you. I hope you forgive me when I finally made a move to say a piece of my mind. No matter how you think of me – I just can't lie like that. I have loved you and I wouldn't have been able to lock it in."

"You're a selfish prick," Shin-chan said.

"You're more selfish, do you know that?"

" I know." There was a small smile on his lips.

I snickered. "Asshole."

After a few more minutes – slow, agonizing minutes, Shin-chan walked over to me. I was sitting on the bed and he walked into the V of my legs. "So we cannot go back to what we were before, huh," he said.

I shook my head. "Maybe not like what we had in high school but - I'll do my best to be your friend. Platonically. You have an image to maintain."

"After everything we've said to each other – is that possible?"

"I'll do what's best for you, Shin-chan."

I was looking up at his adorable, handsome face, even with his swollen lip. Likewise he was studying my face , his gaze so intense I felt as if I was being stripped until all tha's left were my raw feelings for him.

Slowly his left hand reached out and touched the top of my head. I smiled, letting him know I understood what he was going through. It was confusing as hell the first time you figured something was different with you. I had felt that countless of times. And Shin-chan... It was like, because of that drunken kiss I gave him, I forced him out of his closet. And he wasn't close to being ready. Maybe if I hadn't confessed to him he would never be ready.

I felt his hand trailing down from my hair to my temple, his fingertips softly carressing my skin. I frowned up at him. "Shin-chan?"

"Sshhh."

His figers moved towars my nose. He chuckled. "I know it's not pudgy," he commented. "It's – pretty."

Slowly, ever so gently, his fingers trailed down to my lips. I gasped, and suddenly I was achingly hard inside my uniform sweatpants.

His gaze was so intense. So hot. It was like there was green living fire in his eyes as he continued stroking my lips with his fingers.

I couldn't stop myself. To hell with the consequences. I opened my mouth and his forefinger slipped inside. At the same time I closed my eyes, moaning at the delicious taste of his hot salty skin. Wantonly I sucked at the digit, harshly breathing through my nose.

I heard a very male groan above me.

I opened my eyes and looked straight at him while I nipped his finger with my teeth. I saw him shudder, closing his eyes.

I moved back, letting go of his finger. I debated whether to get to the bathroom to take care of my sudden boner or to tell him to just leave the room so there would be distance between us.

We were treading on very dangerous grounds.

But I never had the chance to speak.

Growling low in his throat, Midorima suddenly lunged towards me and pressed me bodily to the bed. It felt so natural.

I wrapped my legs around his hip, cradling his erection on my groin. He pushed even more firmly against me and we both gasped at the sensation of our cocks rubbing through our clothes.

He wrapped those steely arms around my neck, his mouth crashing down on mine. I opened my mouth to accept him, sighing blissfully. My arms encircled him tightly until no space separated us.

He groaned a little. "Your lip," I mumbled against his mouth.

"It still feels numb."

I didn't need any more persuasion. I kissed him again, long and lovingly, until we were sharing spit and I was breathing in his breath. It was so hot, to wait this long and to know that he wanted me,too. The same way that I desperately wanted him.

He kept rubbing his arousal at me. With the state that we were both in, I knew it wasn't going to be long. I pushed at his shoulder. "Lie down," I instructed.

Shin-chan hesitated for a second but then he moved to lie on his back. I proceeded to remove his jacket. As soon as I dropped it on the floor I removed mine as well.

I pushed Shin-chan's shirt up, towards his neck, until his nipples showed. I swear I wanted to lick him all over but we needed release and we needed it now. Sucking at one hard nipple, I tugged at his sweatpants and underwear. He lifted his ass so I could lower them to his thighs.

His shaft sprang free of its confinement, thick and proud, begging to be touched. It was really my first time to see a naked one so close to my face and the look of it was so beautiful all my fantasies about him did not do any justice to the real thing in front of me.

"Takao..." Midorima moaned, gasping.

Immediately I crawled backward until my face was above his perfect manhood. This was something I had always fantasized. Without any preamble I lowered my head, swallowing him into my mouth, taking in as much of the thick girth inside me.

Midorima's ass almost lifted off the bed, both his hands clutching the back of my head.

It was my first time, my first everything actually. First touches, first real kisses. And though it was my first blowjob I swear I'd please him, even if after this he would decide that things would just be platonic between us. No matter what happened in the future, this was a moment I was especially dedicating to him. If we were going to do this the first and last time, I wanted him to enjoy it fully.

I was careful with my teeth, sucking and licking alternately. I fisted the base of his cock, firmly stroking up and down, while I sucked at the head.

"I'm so close," he hissed.

I hummed around his shaft and he moaned even louder. Then I felt the thick cum splattering my throat warmly. I closed my eyes, savoring the feel, the taste of his seed in my mouth. It was salty and tangy but it wasn't something distasteful.

I moved back a little and swallowed whatever I could. His cum was so thick and so plenty it still dribbled out of my mouth.

I lovingly watched my beloved Shin-chan panting on the bed, his chest moving up and down. I stripped off my t-shirt and wiped at my mouth. I, too, was unbelievably close a few tugs were enough to send me over the edge.

I straddled his thighs, and unashamedly slipped my hand inside my pants, inside my boxers, taking out my leaking length. I closed my hand around my cock to beat off, while I was kneeling over Shin-chan.

He was watching me, his eyes devouring the sight of my sex. He suddenly sat up and pulled me towards him for another kiss. He lay back down, taking me with him.

He grabbed the back of my head with his left hand, keeping me in place as his mouth ravished mine. His other hand swatted mine away and before I knew it he was beating me off, stroking and thumbing the slit of my cockhead, the gentle pressure of his grip feeling so prefectly right.

"Ugh... Faster... C'mon," I gasped, bracing myself on my elbows, my ass up in the air allowing room for Shin-chan's arm to move in order to keep on pumping at my cock.

Midorima turned my head aside and planted his mouth on my neck. He licked at the column and suddenly bit, a small sting which immediately went straight to my groin. The pleasure/pain warred against each other and I was stiffening in his arms, crying out his name, jets of white liquid squeezing out of my shaft.

For a few seconds I was suspended above him, my mouth hanging open, my eyes shut tight, panting as if I had run a long race. My climax felt so good, it almost robbed me of my breath.

Then I was falling against Shin-chan's hard broad chest. I was half expecting him to push me away, to keep his distance so we could figure out the next step after this momentous instant.

But I was mildly surprised when he buried his face on my hair, his arms automatically wrapping around me. Hmmm, I could get so used to this, yeah. Oh, it would definitely hurt when everything was over, but at this poist coital moment, all I could think of was how good it felt to be with him, our skins touching, our breaths mingling.

We were still both panting from our efforts and my cum was all over our stomachs. But at the moment we didn't care.

"Damn, that was some work-out," I muttered.

I heard him softly chuckle.

After awhile, maybe a few minutes to be exact, when Midorima showed no sign that he wanted to release me I cleared my throat. "Uhhh – dude, you gonna... let go now?"

He sighed. "I don't know if I ever can," he confessed in a whisper.

My heart was thudding wildly in my chest again. Whether he meant it literally or figuratively, it was enough to make me excited. Nervous but excited.

"I will always love you, Shin-chan," I said. "Even if I'm the only one who does the loving for the two of us, I will make it enough. We're not stupid. We both know this will go nowhere in the kind of world we live in. Especially in the NCAA. And NBA eventually."

He snorted. "You sound so sure that I'd get drafted."

"Are you kidding me?" I lifted my head to smile down at him. "You were made for basketball."

His hand cupped my jaw. "And you are made for me."

The sting of tears threatened to emasculate me even more than I already was. Trying my best not to sniffle, I buried my face on his neck. "Fuck you, Shin-chan. Fuck you so much."

His chest rumbled beneath me as I felt him laugh. His arms tightened around me even more.

No matter what the future brought us, Shin-chan would always be my one true love.

00000ooo0o0o0o0o


	10. Chapter 10

Magnetize

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Final Act

Midorima POV

0oo00o0ooo0o0ooooo0

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I felt was that my arm was dead. Completely useless. It lay throbbing while a heavy thing draped over it.

I moved my head, I had only realized that I was lying, but it was not my room. The smell was different. It was dim in the room, not completely dark but the light was already out. It meant that it was early in the evening.

I turned towards my dead arm.

Even in the dimness, I could make out the sleeping features of Takao, my all around annoying ex-teammate from Shuutoku. I say annoying because he was the type of person who couldn't keep his mouth shut. Always yapping about something half of the time, even when we had examination weeks and all that.

Always yapping. Like a puppy. I never had a puppy.

I slowly inched towards him, using my other hand to lift the soft black strands of hair away from his face. He had soft facial features for a boy, but even so, no one would mistake him for anything else. He was a guy. A male like me.

So why did the mere sight of his innocent sleeping face make me feel this restlessness inside me, as if I had all the questions the universe wouldn't be able to answer?

I never felt anything, even a slight buzz of attraction to other guys. To me they were just the same type of species that I was, with a pair of bollocks and and a dick hanging between the legs.

But whenever I looked at Takao, there was this – this, like I mentioned before, this restlessness, this small awareness of him. There was always this nagging thought, wanting to know what his reactions would be to certain things, wanting to see the expressions his face could make.

Wanting to know what would put a flush to his cheeks.

Wanting to know how hard the planes of his bodies were. And having embraced him a few moments ago, I could tell his body was hard all over. It wasn't soft like a girl's. It was a man's body, honed and made tough by countless of hours training in basketball.

Yet, even after knowing that, I still couldn't stop the blood from flowing down to my nether region, stiffening my cock, making my mouth feel dry.

My lip was still throbbing in pain.

I leaned down, running my chapped lips over his temple. He smelled of cologne and clean sweat. I wanted to pull back, I had just come in his mouth a while ago, but now I had another raging hard-on. I hoped he wouldn't see it when he woke up. He'd make fun of me. What was I? A dog during the mating season?

I needed to take care of it in the bathroom. The normal me would have immediately done that, eliminating any source of weakness that anyone might hold over me.

But the newness of these sensations that I had just shared with Takao, the complete trust in him, made me just lie there, not wanting to do anything about my erection. Even though my dick was aching, I felt completely at peace. Just by lying there with Takao beside me.

I shifted, so that I lay on my back, making sure I didn't disturb him. He just had a game today. And we had such a rough day with my teammates.

They had never been completely hostile to me, since they were thinking it was Takao who had always been seducing me. That was partly the reason why I had wanted us to just remain as friends. Because I could not always be there for him to protect him from other people's prejudices, so I always felt it was better to hide this – whatever this was that we felt towards each other.

In the end I realized some things really cannot be hidden.

Especially now that both Takao's team and my team had an idea that there was really something between us. In the past I might have denied it vehemently. But now I just did not see the point anymore.

What was that policy in the military?

Don't Ask, Don't Tell?

I know in the US, gay people are more aggressive in showing the definition of who they are.

But it's not the same in Japan. People generally didn't talk about it if people were gay or straight. It was an exception though in our case, since Takao and I were both in the spot light. We were the epitome of athletic masculinity. If we had been just normal students who did not play basketball, we could have done what we wanted.

But the reality was that we were both athletes. And there were no gay basketball players in my school or in Takao's school.

It made me contemplate what I would be doing in my future.

There was still that NCAA offer hanging over my head. And possibly, a chance to get drafted in the most prestigious ball club in the US.

There were two parts of me that could not stand without the other. I was – I cringed mentally – probably, yeah, gay. And I was a basketball player. They were what made up who I was. I could not just be gay. And I could not just be a basketball player.

They both completed me.

And in the real life, they would never go hand in hand.

Could I just choose one?

My thoughts were broken by the R-R-R-R-R which vibrated on the bed.

I felt Takao stir, opening his big black eyes at me, and yawning so wide I was able to count how many molars he had, down to the one that was missing. He reached above him for the cellphone in his jacket. With sleepy eyes, he read his mail. "It's Gorou. He said he's not coming home." He turned to me.

"Hey," he said, his voice scratchy.

I simply gazed at him, letting him know I had been awake for awhile.

He suddenly got up. "Uhmm... Is this – uhh – okay?"

"What about it?" I asked.

He was wildly gesturing with his hand. "This. Uhm... am I smothering you? I can move away a little."

Indeed, our legs were tangled with each other's. I had to snort. "I think the virginal act is a little old. Considering I just came in your mouth," I commented dryly.

Takao gasped, an almost funny sound if I thought he was just kidding. But he was serious. He tried to get up but I held him back. "What is it, now?" I huffed.

"I feel sticky. Yuck."

I tried not to roll my eyes. "Well, it's your jizz."

"Shin-chan!"

"What?"

"What's up with your language? How crude!"

"It really is your jizz. It won't kill you. Would you stop squirming? I haven't worn my glasses for a long time I'm getting a headache."

"Do you want an aspirin?"

"No."

Takao did not stop with his inquisitions. "Okay, water?"

"No," I grumbled.

"Let me turn on the fan,then."

Annoyed, I pulled him roughly towards my chest. "I just want you. Okay?"

Takao stared at me for a moment, gaping like a fish. I used my thumb to close his mouth. I knew I was being uncharacteristically open with my emotions. But I couldn't help it. There was no more reason for me to hold anything in, was there? Especially after what we had both been through.

I decided to shock him more. I purposely leaned to put an open mouthed kiss on his lips. There. That should shut him up.

After a while, he was breathless. "Uhmm – Shin-chan?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you wanna – uh – shower?"

I shrugged. "Yeah. I also feel sticky."

"No, I mean – uhmmm – with me?" Takao asked shyly.

My erection twitched inside my pants. I reached down, grabbed him by the back of his head and angled my lips so that when my tongue penetrated his mouth I could sweep inside him fully. He was startled but after a second he was kissing me as passionately as I was kissing him.

We were running out of breath when we separated. Looking eager, he knelt and began stripping his pants and boxers, giving me a full frontal view of his leaking cock.

This time, he sounded bossy when he barked, "Get naked."

The he went to the bathroom at a half-run, his tight ass bouncing.

I also shed my pants and underwear, my hard member slapping against my stomach. I wish we'd fit in that ridiculously tiny bathroom of theirs.

0o0o0o0000ooooo000

We tried going all the way while in the shower, using liquid soap for lubrication since we both didn't have lube or lotion and it seemed too rude to snoop in Gorou's things for one.

We didn't know how difficult it could be. I knew I was big. Of course. I had gigantic shoes. You do the math. I could only put the tip in and Takao looked like he was going to break in half.

Frustrated, we both just jerked each other off until we came. When I told him it would probably take a while before we could try anal again, he looked at me with this puzzled expression and told me we'd be trying it again the next time we had an alone time.

And that, oh, yeah, it was nearly the Summer vacation and that we could fool around when we came home for the summer.

"Let's have sex in your room," Takao suggested, nuzzling my throat.

I lightly slapped his bubble butt cheek. "Doesn't it hurt?"

"Well, yeah, it does. But I still want it."

Smiling against his hair, I held him tight. Here was one person who would always want me, no matter how imperfect and moody I was. Come to think of it, he was really the only one who stayed with me. After all these years.

We held each other tight inside the tiny space, as the water jetted against our skin.

I stayed the night, of course, sleeping while Takao snored on top of me. There wasn't really any other choice. His bed was also ridiculously small and I did not want to sleep in the other bed.

I wore my spare pants the next morning, while Takao lent me one of his bigger shirts. Today was Sunday. No school. No game. It was vacation for both of us.

So we decided to buy a new pair of glasses, replacing the one I had stepped on.

"Hey, remember the time when you lost your glasses in high school?"

"How can I forget?" I snorted at him, while we walked down the street, looking for the right shop. "You teased me so much for having a girly face."

Takao laughed heartily. "Well, your face was girly."

"I shouldn't have shaved that day."

Takao turned up at me, watching me closely. Since we were walking shoulder to shoulder, even without my glasses I could still see him, though it was a bit blurry. "Your face isn't so girly now," he said.

"Tsch."

"Yeah, your face looks... hard and – imposing and mature..."

Again I tsched. "Mature. Does that mean I look old?" I snapped.

Takao said, "No. It means you look hot."

I wished I had my glasses. Whenever I couldn't find the appropriate response, I would keep on adjusting my glasses.

Takao was still smiling cheekily at me.

"You might want to wipe away that smirk off your face, otherwise you might find yourself bent over the nearest vehicle," I growled in the most mature voice I could make.

His smile did disappear. In an awed voice he said, " When you learn how to flirt, you go all out,huh."

I just shrugged at him, hiding my own smirk.

0o00o0o00o0o0o00o

I had the best weekend of my life with the best friend I could ever find in my existence. Where can you meet the greatest friend that you can also fuck, huh?

When I showed up at the club, I decided I didn't care what anyone there would think of me. Let them guess and wonder what my relationship with Takao was. I honestly didn't care. I wouldn't flaunt it of course, but I figured it was time I stopped being unsure about it.

In general none of my teammates gave me a hard time. They called me their ace, so I knew I was important. I made them also realize that. I would only start listening to any of their opinion if they could beat my 99.99% accuracy in shooting hoops. Sure I had an off-night when Takao and I quarrelled but it wasn't going to happen ever again. So my game was back.

On Monday I had a game. Takao and I discussed about what our behavior would be in public. And we came to an agreement that it was better for him not to watch my matches, and vice-versa.

We won, of course. I easily scored forty points and fifteen rebounds. Whenever one of my teammates missed a shot I would growl at him. I know my attitude was being bratty again, but I couldn't help it. These people hurt the person I valued most in my life. They should spend their time making up for that.

That Monday night when I came home I decided to call Takao's phone. When I opened my phone, there was this message from him. "Hi, Shin-Shin. I'm so beat today. I'll sleep early, okay so I might not be able to call you. Take care."

I felt a little bad that I couldn't talk to him. But it was okay. I could call tomorrow.

The next day when I was free, I called again. It went to voicemail. After a few hours I tried again. Still voicemail. I sent a couple of messages asking about him, but I didn't get a response until the next day.

Takao's message: I'm sorry I wasn't able to return your call. Since it's the last week before summer vacation we have tons of homework. I'll call you when I get the chance.

I knew I was getting worried for nothing. In the past we had gone on without messaging each other for as long as weeks. But that was before. We hadn't been fucking then.

I couldn't help but feel disappointed. Did this mean I was the only one who felt excited about communicating with each other?

Wednesday I tried again, and like what happened the last couple of days, it just went to his voicemail. In my frustration I hurled my phone on my bed, as I sat on the floor, huddled in my dark room. Why would Takao choose this time to abandon me, when he knew everything was still so brand new to me? My sexuality, our relationship, my basketball career...

Suddenly my phone beeped. I got a text message from Takao. It said: I'm so sorry for being so busy, Shin-chan. I promise I'll make it up to you. I love you, okay? Don't forget that.

That idiot. Making me so worried about this – this thing between us.

So this was how it felt to be attached to someone. It had always been basketball for me. I lived and breathed for basketball. Now I had to consider Takao's welfare and whereabouts before I could be calm enough to sleep at night.

But he said he loved me, right? Takao rarely lied.

By Thursday I did not even attempt to call him. I got another message though saying he was still so busy and that he loved me. I tried to be content with that.

Last Sunday, before Takao and I parted we talked about leaving together to go to our hometown. But since I couldn't get ahold of him, I didn't know if I should wait for him or what. By Friday night my clothes were all packed. I had a couple of weeks of vacation before I went back for our basketball training camp. I was sure Takao would also be back for his team's own training camp.

My sempai had already left in the afternoon so I was alone in the room. I fiddled with my phone. If Takao didn't call tonight, I'd call tomorrow to ask when we'd go home.

Could he have gone home first? I gripped my phone. That would mean he would have left me. And Takao would never do that.

He wouldn't.

I sighed, placing my smartphone flat on my face. I didn't think worrying and thinking about someone was this difficult. And Takao said he had been in love with me for years?

How could he have managed that?

I was slowly driftng off to sleep when the phone in my face suddenly rang and vibrated at the same time. I cursed, startled.

When I looked at the caller ID my heart started slamming in my chest. Takao!

"Hello?" I said to the phone.

"Hey, Shin-chan!" he sounded cheerful, like he hadn't been making me feel miserable this past week.

"Yeah, what is it?" I grumbled. I couldn't help it, I was pissed.

"Awww, don't be upset..." he purred.

I snapped, "I'm not upset." I think I said it far too quickly to be convincing.

Takao let out a soft chuckle. "Yes, you are."

"Well, I think you know why I would be upset right now!" I accused him.

I thought he was going to give me a ton of excuses about being busy and shit. I was preparing for another rebuttal. But he just sighed heavily. "Yeah, baby, I know. I'm sorry. Can we – talk?"

I sat up, thinking that there was something more to his tone of voice that he wasn't telling me. "Where are you?"

"In the station near your dorm. Maybe you can come down for a while so we can talk. I need to be back to my dorm before midnight."

I looked at the time. It was already 10:45PM and I knew it took fifty one blasted minutes to get back to his university. Like, we only had less than 30 minutes to talk before he had to hurry back? Well, that's bullshit. "Come up here, Takao. If I don't see your scrawny ass in ten minutes in front of my room I'm going back home tomorrow without you!" I yelled.

I heard him take a deep breath. "But your roommate – "

"Has already left."

"Wow. So, it's just – the two of us? I like that."

"Shut up. Ten minutes." Then I hung up the phone.

And sure enough, eight minutes after I heard his soft knocks on my door. I opened it wide, my face a mask of utter annoyance.

And as always, he was smiling brightly at me. "Hi," he piped up.

"Hn." I turned away to walk over to my bed. I heard him close the door.

I was preparing to ask the crucial first question of why he didn't bother calling me. But when I turned to him, he hurled himself towards me, pushing me down with his weight until we fell on my bed.

"Takao – what the – "

He began kissing me in earnest, wrapping his arms tight around my neck, as he straddled my waist. I was effectively pinned under him. It was ridiculous. He was so small compared to me but I felt his deperate need to get close to me, to burrow under my skin.

He was shaking.

I pulled away. "Takao, what's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

He merely shook his head and kissed me again. "Please, just... Dammit, I missed you so much."

With shaking hands, he tugged down the shorts I was wearing, revealing my half hard member. Takao wasted no time. He knelt before me and swallowed me to the root. I was shocked as the tip of my cock nudged his throat. I wasn't fully erect yet.

After a few minutes I was painfully hard, sliding in and out of his mouth. His eyes were closed, both of his hands gripping me, while his mouth steadily sucked.

It was unbelievably hot, watching him lose it like this. He fucking missed me? Then why didn't he just call me?

I suddenly grabbed him by the pits and pulled him up. His eyes flew open, looking alarmed. 'Shin-chan, I want to – "

"Ssshhh, not like that. C'mere..." I laid him on the bed, unfastened his jeans, pulled down his zipper and took out his hard cock, enveloping it and mine in my large hand. Takao spread his legs even wider to accomodate me in between.

I stroked up and down on both our shafts vigorously, watching him writhing underneath me, his face flushed with heat, his mouth gasping out soft moans. I leaned down and kissed his precious mouth, tasting myself in it.

We were both close, I could feel it, I could feel the tension in his shoulders, the strain in his neck. After one week of not seeing him I was also ready to lose it, I was so mad at him. And I missed him like hell.

I gripped more tightly.

With a keening cry, Takao came all over my hand. I kept on pumping until I felt my own orgasm claiming me.

It took a few minutes befre our breathing became even. I lay face down beside him, almost on top of him, allowing our mixed cum to cool on his shirt.

"Shin-chan?"

"Mmm?"

"Were you waiting for my call?"

I did not lift my face. It was pathetic to hold a grudge against him. And now, it embarrassed me that I had sounded upset over the phone. I sounded like a diva.

Takao shifted on his side so that he could bury his face on my neck and wrap both his arms and legs around my body. "I resigned from the team," Takao whispered.

That was when I looked at him, shocked with what I heard. "What?"

He received my incredulity with a soft calm smile. "It's done. I'm choosing you over everything. I'm choosing us."

"When? Why?"

He closed his eyes as he explained. "I resigned last Tuesday. Finished all the paper work by today, on top of my real homework. So see? I really didn't lie to you. I have a lot of homework for the summer. They're retracting my scholarship."

"You – what? Then how will – "

"I also got a student loan. I already told my parents about my losing the scholarship and they were willing to send a little money every month. I calculated my expenses and I think if I don't spend a lot of money going out I will be able to manage, between my parents' money and my loan. Besides, since I have so much free time now, I can get a part time job."

"Takao!" I roared at him. "Tell me why you resigned!"

"I don't see the point of it anymore, Shin-chan. During junior high and high school, when I think back on it, the only reason why I wanted to excel in basketball was because you were there. And now that I have you, I'd rather have you than basketball. From here on out, while we continue having this relationship it would be almost impossible to avoid all the pressures and prejudices coming from people who don't approve of us. It's not that I'm a coward. But I want to make it easier for you, Shin-chan. I can lose basketball. You can't. And I don't want you, too."

I loomed above him, trying to read into everything that he was saying. He was still smiling serenely. I cupped his face in my hands, carressing his cheeks. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I know you will stop me. And I want it to be my decision, so if I ever regret it in the future I don't want you to have anything to do with it. That was why I didn't talk to you since Monday. I wanted to think about it on my own, so that whatever the outcome will be, then I'm the only one responsible for it."

"You should have told me."

"I know. But I know I still did the right thing. It will be easier for you to play if no one knows me or if I'm not a public name. I want us to last. And I want you to keep playing. I can give up basketball. I'm not planning to play after I graduate anyway."

"But don't you – don't you feel bad about giving it up?" I asked gently.

Takao tried another smile, but that was one I noticed the slight trembling on his chin. "It's just like losing an arm. It would hurt and I would miss it. But I'll live. Yeah – " His voice broke. "I will live."

I sat up, pulling him to my chest, tucking his face under my chin. I felt his shoulder shake a little, and right there and then I knew he was crying. I didn't want to watch him cry so I just let him carry on, my hand soothing his back.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Later after we had both calmed down, him from crying and me from utter shock, we lay naked on my bed burrowed under the blanket. Takao looked completely calm and collected now as he ran his fingers on my spine.

Now it was my turn to make my announcement.

"I'd like us to live together," I declared.

"Haaa?" Takao asked sharply.

"You heard me."

"But you have this dorm," he countered.

I stubbornly said, "I'm not wasting any more time being apart from you. You make the most stupid decisions when I'm not around."

Takao pouted, glaring at me. "It wasn't stupid! Now we don't have to face each other in the court and fuel all those rumors going around the district. This is lying low, my style."

"Lying low is not quitting."

"To me they can be the same."

"I'm not going to accept the NCAA offer."

Takao shot up so fast my vision spun. "What the hell are you talking about? Just because I quit doesn't mean that you also – "

"With all due respect to you as my – "I coughed. " – lover, I had wanted to tell you this earlier this week if only you had picked up your phone."

"But – but why?"

"I want to play basketball, Takao, don't get me wrong. But I want to do it in Japan. I will play until I graduate."

"But you could be an NBA player by that time!"

"You suck in English, Takao."

"What does that mean?" Takao asked, tugging at my shoulder.

"It means I want to live together here, not in America. Their ways are not our ways. I can always use my talent in basketball here. Besides, don't you want to have a doctor for a lover?"

'Well, yes – but –"

"But you always thought I would choose basketball over Medicine. Yes, that may be true. But I'm not choosing it over you. I can always coach if I want to. You know how schools need part time coaches these days. I can squeeze it in during my practice. I can do half and half."

Takao still looked crushed. "Are – are you sure?"

"To tell you the truth I've never been sure about that NCAA thing anyway. That's why I asked you. Here. Remember?"

"How could I forget?" Takao said.

"We probably shouldn't come home yet. Not tomorrow."

"Why?"

"We're looking for an apartment first, then I'll be off to training camp. After we settle everything here, then that's when we come home."

"Are you sure?" He still sounded tentative.

My response was to pull him towards my naked chest, feeling the hard planes of his body and loving every stretch of skin my hand could touch. "I'll tell you when I change my mind," I said, trying to kid him.

"What?!"

"Just shut up and sleep. You said we'd have sex in my room."

"In your parents' house," Takao clarified.

"This is still technically my room," I argued, nipping his earlobe. I felt him shudder against me.

I lay on top of him, feeling him spread his thighs so he could cradle me between his legs. I braced my weight on my two elbows knowing I was too heavy for him.

"I love you," he mouthed.

Chuckling, I lay my forehead against his. "I'll wake you up when I get horny."

"Shin-chan! How crude!"

I hadn't realized until then that the only genuine times I laughed in the past was when I was with Takao. Not trying my luck in NCAA was a very small price to pay in order to keep this this thing between us alive.

I loved basketball, yes, but if Takao was not there, it would hold no meaning for me.

0000oo0o00o000oo

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

And this story happened ten years ago.

Now I'm a certified Internal Medicine Specialist, working for a hospital and coaching part time in Shuutoku junior high school basketball club. Yes, I came back to my old high school to coach.

I still live with my partner Takao who works in a trading company.

We continue arguing over the smallest of things, like whose turn it is to take out the trash, or to air out the futon. Sometimes our full blown fights will last for a whole day, but by night time we have to kiss and make up because we both can't sleep if there's an inch of space between us on the bed. Until now he snores on top of me.

And until now we cannot get enough of each other.

He still can't drink alcohol worth shit.

0o0o0o0o0oo0


	11. Chapter 11

Magnetize

Omake: Buttered

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Just a little omake that popped up in my mind. I'm trying to write an original hetero romance and I keep on getting back to yaoi. Siiiighhh... I hope I'm not ruined for hetero lovestories... I still want to write conventional pairings but it's so hard to switch. Heheheh...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Salmon was expensive. It usually was in all parts of the world. But in Japan, they have what they call salmon season. It was during aki or autumn where the number of fish catch increased. It was the most favorite time of fishermen.

It was a lovely November afternoon and Takao had been excited in preparing the ingredients he needed to cook his pan-grilled salmon fillet with lemon-butter-garlic sauce. It was one of his favorites in the Western-style resto he had been part-timing in these past couple of months.

It had been more than four months since he quit basketball. Now he was in second year college, and he decided to major in Economics. He was also part-timing three days in a week, and his income was more than enough for his share in the apartment rent and expenses.

Takao and Midorima, his bestfriend-turned-boyfriend, began living together in July, at the start of summer vacation. They found a small one bedroom apartment in the middle of both their universities, though it was a little closer to Todai. Shin-chan had to take the train for twenty minutes to get to his school; Takao had to travel for thirty five minutes to get to his.

But so far, everything had been quiet and peaceful. Midorima still played for Todai's basketball club. One of the local channels on TV broadcast the games so Takao did not have to go to the venue to watch.

More than once Midorima had asked him to watch, saying once wouldn't be that bad, but Takao would always decline. He loved it when Shin-chan expressed his wanting for Takao to watch him play, but at the same time Takao did not want to create any trouble for Shin-chan. Midorima had not exactly hidden the fact that they now lived together, and although his team in Todai was tightlipped about it, a lot of people began speculating. And the rumors spread like wildfire.

Suffice to say that now, it was an open secret that Midorima was living with a guy. Not just any guy. A guy he was rumored to be sleeping with.

But, being Midorima, the green-haired basketball prodigy did not care about it. It was either he played basketball or he did not. He honestly did not care about the in-betweens.

Sometimes Takao wanted to ask if Midorima would hear anything about the rumors, or if they were affecting the way people treated him in school. But Midorima looked always nonchalant about it. Takao knew it also hurt Shin-chan sometimes to hear about their relationship being unnatural to many people. But Shin-chan was trying to keep it together and be strong enough for both of them.

So that was why Takao did not want to be a bother.

In his part, Takao still kept in touch with Nobu and Hideki, his close friends in the basketball team. Whenever TMU won in a game, Hideki and Nobu would surely text him to let him know. Some of their other teammates had been dismayed severely when Takao resigned from the team, and all the more when they found out he moved in with Shin-chan.

Sometimes when Takao would meet his old teammates in the hallway of TMU the boys would purposely avoid him, or worse, give him disgusted looks before turning away. Takao knew part of the reason they lost their admiration for him was because he gave up basketball for the sake of one person. And by moving in with Midorima it was like truly flashing a neon sign on his forehead that he was gay living in with his male lover.

However Nobu and Hideki were not like that. The two guys still ate lunch with him when their schedules permitted it. They even went out to eat a couple of times, just the three of them to celebrate a victorious game.

As for Kaito, their self-absorbed center, he never showed Takao he hated Takao. When they met in school, Kaito would sometimes nod at him. He didn't appear to be hateful, just distant.

And today was such a special day!

Because TMU won a game yesterday and Nobu and Hideki were coming over to celebrate in Takao's apartment. Honestly the two had met Midorima a couple of times, especially when Shin-chan would come pick up Takao during their night outs. Nobu and Hideki would sometimes tease Takao how attentive his boyfriend was and that he was treated like a princess. Both Takao and Shin-chan would redden like tomatoes at the ribbing.

Takao had already prepared the salmon fillets. Now he was mixing the butter and lemon juice for the sauce. He loved this recipe. It was a best seller in the restaurant he was working for and he had watched the chef numerous times in preparing it in order not to make mistakes. Tonight Nobu and Hideki would dine with him and Shin-chan. It was actually the first time they would be having visitors since they moved in last July.

He was also busy chopping some vegetables for the side dish, humming to himself when the door opened. "Tadaima!" a deep voice sounded from the tiny living room. Even after living together all these months, and being cuddled up in all their evenings, Takao's heartbeat sped up automatically at the sound of that voice. Happines bubbled forth from him.

He turned sideways, watching as his tall sweaty handsome basketball star came into the kitchen. He offered a dazzling smile to Shin-chan. "Okaeri nasai."

Midorima looked at his eyes briefly, quietly, his own way of expressing his own happiness. He reached out with his long arm and squeezed Takao's shoulder. Takao grinned, going back to his chopping. Midorima got a glass of water from their fridge, watching all the activities in the kitchen.

He frowned. "Are we celebrating something?"

Takao raised an eyebrow at him. "Um, I told you last night, right? Nobu and Hideki are visiting."

Midorima looked puzzled honestly, adjusting his glasses. "Did you really tell me?"

"I did! Last night, at dinner, I think. And right before we slept." Shin-chan shrugged, washing his glass and putting it back in the cabinet.

"I don't remember."

"Dude, last night I told you –"

"If you had told me right after I came in your ass you honestly can't expect me to remember everything you said."

Takao winced. He was getting used to the fact that Midorima could be so straight to the point sometimes, but sometimes it could be a little unnerving. "Sheeeshhh! Do you always have to be literal? Maybe not right after, okay? Maybe after a few minutes."

"Then I would have been sleeping at that time."

Takao grunted. "Oh yeah, I know. You're a goner after sex."

"You would be, too with the kind of practice I have."

"Aww, yeah... So, how's practice, by the way?"

Midorima shrugged again."It's all good. Don't worry."

Takao wanted to ask more, about how they guys from Todai were treating Shin-chan, but he couldn't form a proper question. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. What was important was that they did not show violence towards Shin-chan. Being friendly was hardly a matter worth discussing.

"Hey." Midorima stepped closer to Takao, pressing his chest towards Takao's back. Midorima towered over him, caging him in his arms when Shin-chan gripped the edges of the sink at both sides of Takao's hip. Takao's breath hitched at the contact of Shin-chan's chest at his back. His knife almost slipped and cut his finger. Midorima eyed the vegetables on the chopping board, resting his chin on Takao's shoulder.

"How many times have I told you not to think about it?"

"Think about what?"

"My team. Don't worry about them. I keep my distance from them so I don't know what they think all the time. We only talk if it's about the game. Other than that, I don't care about what they have to say," Shin-chan declared passionately.

Takao turned sideways, his nose touching Shin-chan's cheek. "Isn't that a bit sad? I'm sorry if it has come to this. Maybe if they didn't know we now live together..."

"It wouldn't matter. What I do outside of the court shouldn't matter to anyone. And why should I be sad? I've got you."

Takao sighed, resting his back on Shin-chan's broad chest. He was so happy he was melting like butter. If Shin-chan was a drug then Takao was hooked, addicted, hopelessly enslaved.

As if Shin-chan could detect the heat stirring up in Takao's groin, he pressed his face against Takao's neck and sniffed experimentally.

"You smell like butter."

"Oh yeah?" Takao gasped breathlessly.

"Yeah," Shin-chan replied, running his tongue on the column of his lover's neck. Being taller, he had to lower his groin and pressed it up Takao's pert tight butt, lodging his hardening shaft on the smaller man's butt crack.

Both of them groaned at the contact. Takao let go of his knife, turning his head sideways to seek the lips of Midorima. Midorima ran his hands under Takao's shirt, spanning the taut stomach, up his chest, tweaking at the perky little nipples. Takao opened his mouth wider, cupping the back of Shin-chan's head to keep him in place as they kissed.

Soon, the touching and kissing were not enough. Midorima stepped back, bent Takao over at the sink and with one tug, pulled down the sweatpants Takao was wearing towards his knees, leaving his ass bare and invitingly open. Takao gripped the edge of the sink, his cock already leaking with pre-cum.

In all these times that they experimented in sex, Takao found out that Midorima had this hungry fascination with his ass. When he was in the mood, Midorima would pay homage to Takao's little hole, fingering and tounging it for a long time before actually penetrating it. Takao loved it of course. It drove him crazy with wanting and desperation but he absolutely loved it when his boyfriend ate his hole.

Like right now. Takao tried to control his shudder when he felt Shin-chan kneel behind him. It was a good thing he had cleaned up a little when he got home. When he felt one long wet swipe of tounge on his crack Takao moaned, biting his lip. It felt so goooood...

Midorima eagerly parted the cheeks using his thumbs, pressing his face deeper into Takao's ass, using his tongue to lick the pink rosebud. He loved Takao's taste and scent. They never failed to drive him wild with need. He used his teeth to scrape the skin gently.

Takao hissed in pleasure, almost going crosseyed.

"Damn, please, let's go in the bedroom," he pleaded, huskily.

"I'll do you right here," Midorima answered from behind, kissing Takao's buttcheek lovingly.

"B-b-but... The lube?" Takao looked at his boyfriend's green eyes flaring in mischief.

Midorima, smirking, removed his glasses and tore off his jacket. He looked so sexy doing it that Takao wanted to fall on his knees and pay his homage. But Midorima wasn't going to let him move. He looked at the array of ingredients on the sink. His face lit up all of a sudden.

"I thought I saw something."

"Huh? What?" Takao's eyes widened when Shin-chan scooped a chunk of butter from the plate. It was already half melted and it ran down Shin-chan's fingers. "You're using that?"

Midorima shrugged. "Why not? You're good enough to eat."

Then Shin-chan knelt behind him again and put a generous amount of butter on his asshole, slathering it up. Takao laughed deliriously, overwhelmed at the sensations. Midorima began kissing and licking him there again, and after a while began preparing him for his blunt fingers.

Takao thought he couldn't stand the repeated rub on his prostate by those wonderfully trained fingers that he almost collapsed on his knees. But before that happened, Midorima was pulling him up, bending him over again, and piercing him with his thick cock. Midorima buried himself in Takao in one hard thrust.

Takao's head dropped forward, almost losing his breath. The butter had served as a good enough lubrication, Shin-chan's fingers had softened his passage so when Shin-chan rammed inside him he was more than ready. He was dying for it.

"Hold on," Midorima rasped into his ear, plunging in and out of him none too gently, their feet set wide apart.

"Yeah... yeah... yessss, dammit!" Takao chanted, moving his hips to meet Shin-chan halfway. "Baby, harder. Fuck me..."

Midorima chuckled behind him, a haughty sound of a man knowing he was pleasing his lover. He gave Takao a long hard thrust, Takao shuddered involuntarily. That one particular move nailed his gland on the spot. "Shin-chaaan... So good... I love it!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I love you so much..." Takao sobbed.

Midorima suddenly gripped him by the chest, thrusting more slowly this time. He buried his nose on top of Takao's head. "Love you too... More than you'll ever know," he whispered hoarsely.

In these moments, when both of them were vulnerable and open with their affections, Takao wanted to cry. Because they had to sacrifiice a lot of things to be this happy. And by being this happy they were defying a lot of rules, a lot of common sense. Midorima rammed so deeply into him Takao saw stars and then he was coming, helplessly coming in his hand as it circled his cock. Shin-chan drove himself inside Takao's tight heat a few more times before he himself came, while he was buried in the hilt.

They were both gasping for breath as they came from their high, their chests simultaneously moving up and down. Midorima's heavy breathing was loud in Takao's ears."Are you okay?"

Takao tried his best to speak. "Are you kidding me? It was... awesome!"

"We should use butter once in a while," Shin-chan suggested, to which Takao laughed heartily. Midorima smiled, a peaceful expression on his face.

Takao shifted so that Midorima would slip out of him and so that Takao could turn around finally, embracing Shin-chan's waist and looking up at him. He gently nipped Shin-chan's chin. It was all that he could reach. Midorima ran his hands on Takao's hair, resting his weight on the smaller man, while Takao leaned on the sink.

Most of the time they were quiet when they snuggled after sex. It was the best feeling to be touching wordlessly after a round of hot passionate love-making. They were still pressed onto each other like that when suddnley the doorbell rang.

DING-DONG! DING-DONG!

Takao, horrified, looked up at Midorima. "It's them!"

Midorima started to look annoyed. "Your friends are disrupting our pillow talk," he complained.

In spite of the situation, Takao laughed. "We aren't actually talking."

"Still."

"Yes, well, I have to change. I've got butter running all over me." Midorima hugged him even tighter.

"And if it was up to me you'd stay like that the whole night. Damn your teammates for disturbing us."

"Awww... Shin-chan, you know they're good friends of mine. They still treat me good even after all these – you know..."

Rolling his eyes, Shin-chan stepped away and got some paper tissues to wipe at him and Takao, helping Takao in pulling up his pants. Midorima knew he was being a selfish bastard to want to keep Takao away from his friends and monopolize him. Given the amount of sacrifice Takao had made for the sake of their relationship. He would be good to Takao's ex-teammates even if it killed him.

"Would you answer the door for me? I need to run inside the bedroom and... change," Takao said.

"Fine."

"Thanks," Takao told him and gave him a peck on the lips, running to their room. After making sure he was all cleaned up, Midorima washed his hands and went to open the door. Sure enough, both Hideki and Nobu were there, looking nervous and expectant at the same time. And surprisingly, the huge center Kaito was also standing there, looking deep at Midorima, almost calculatingly.

"Come in," Midorima said, opening the door wide. The three boys from TMU gingerly nodded at their stoic host, as they stepped inside the tiny house. Since all of them were giants, they dwarfed the living room.

"Hi, guys!" Takao greeted, coming from the bedroom, looking flushed and thoroughly sexed up. Takao knew it and he hoped his teammates did not notice.

"Uh – Kaito? You're here?"

"In the flesh, Rook."

"Wow, I thought – "

Kaito waved a beefy paw. "Don't sweat it. If you're happy with this – " Kaito pointed a thumb towards Shin-chan, who frowned, " – then fine. I'm not here to judge."

Takao suddenly became nervous with all of the attention. It was the first time he was entertaining visitors in his house so he felt awkward. Especially since these people were his ex-teammates who knew he was gay. How in the world should he behave anyway?

"Let's sit down," Midorima volunteered, gesturing to the low dining table where they would eat dinner. The table was small and it was cramped but they all managed. Takao, looking sheepish, excused himself, "I'm just grilling the fish so it'll take a few minutes. Uhmmm, please wait, okay?" Then he ran for safety in the kitchen.

"Here," Hideki said, placing a plastic bag on the table. "We bought some desserts from the konbini."

Shin-chan bowed slightly at him. "Thank you."

"Congrats on your match, by the way. You were awesome in that last game. Your rebounds were just – out of this world!" Nobu exclaimed, bumping Shin-chan's arm with his shoulder. Shin-chan had already put on his glasses and he was becoming nervous with the guy's touchy feely attitude. He honestly didn't like it when people got close to him. With Takao as an exception of course. Nobu began praising his abilities and Shin-chan awkwardly inched away from his zealous fan.

"Nobu!" Kaito admonished. "Stop fanboying the guy. Can't you see he's getting nervous?!"

Hideki only chuckled. Nobu sheepishly scratched the back of his head and offered an apologetic smile at Midorima. "Sorry, man. Got carried away. You know, if I was gay, I'd definitely give Takao a run for his money."

Hideki burst out laughing. Kaito looked pissed and Shin-chan flushed at the comment. Nobu, being the joker that he was, simply shrugged.

"What? I'm just saying. Tsk tsk tsk. Too bad I'm straight."

"Uh huh," Midorima replied dryly.

All in all the dinner went well, especially when Takao returned to save Midorima from dealing with his weird teammates. Midorima merely watched Takao interacting with his ex-teammates. Even if generally, Shin-chan hated disruptions in his quiet evenings, he had to admit seeing Takao happily chatting with his friends as if it was the most normal thing in the world sent warmth to his chest. Takao had decided not to return to basketball but he would always have friends to support his decisions.

In the middle of dinner, while everyone was taking turns sharing stories, and while Midorima sat by Takao's side, decorously far enough not to touch him, Takao lost all his inhibitions and leaned sideways against Shin-chan.

Shin-chan was a little startled, not knowing if it was alright for them to be touchy in front of Takao's friends. Takao simply smiled up at him, silently thanking him for entertaining his visitors as well. Midorima gave him a smile only reserved for him, a soft one that lit up his eyes. He placed his palm at the center of Takao's back his thumb gently rubbing at Takao's flesh.

It was a perfect night. With delicious food and in the company of good friends. They couldn't honestly ask for more.

Xxxxxxxxxx


End file.
